Oscar

Hey! Why did this afternoon tv-movie not get an Oscar?? It is awesome enough to distract me from housework....

Warm feet = warm and happy Ems

This week we have:

• sorted the underfloor heating in the kitchen i.e. a man came to lay it and then put slate tiles on top and yesterday he grouted it. We can move the fridge, which is currently standing in the living room, back on Sunday. But first we have to paint the walls behind it.
• had a man from a bathroom design company to measure our bathroom. We're finally getting rid of the, for me, hateful and disgusting bath and will replace it with a shower. 
• had a man over to check out the fireplace, which we ripped out 2 weeks ago, to see what needs doing so that we can get a woodburner in there.*

Am I happy? 

Hell yeah! It will, hopefully, mean that in 2 weeks I will be able to have warm feet whilst being in the kitchen. The grout has to set for so long before you can turn the underfloor heating on but it's ok, I can happily wait 2 more weeks as I've managed -barely - the almost 3 years since it broke (3 weeks after we moved in and OMG what a crappy job the previous owners had done! It made me want to cry.

Bathroom - tiny and dark and horrible tiles (I'll take a picture before they rip them out) and not to mention that bath!! We had planned to do the bathroom next week but a spotlight exploded (yeah, put in by the previous owners) and burned a hole (?!) in the acrylic bath exactly where Toddler N sits (but not at the time!) so we moved the bathroom to a more priority type of thing...

Woodburner - I could become severely religious about this particular item. It is so cold here during the damp wintermonths and electric heating does not warm up as well or nicely as a woodburner does. I am going to be in heaven once I can use it. Husband is happy for this to be done as it is worth a lot of money to make me shut up about being cold. Seriously, that has been my response to any kind of greeting or the past 6 years since I moved to the UK. 

"Hi honey, how's your day been?"

"I'm sooo cold!"

"Hi honey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm sooo cold!"

"Honey, I love you!"

"I'm sooo cold!"

The "I'm sooo cold" are usually [always] followed up with a "f****ing country!"

The only time I wasn't freezing was when I was pregnant which is when I had the thermostat on 15C to stop my feet from burning. And this whole being cold thing is the major thing that cold make me leave husband and take Toddler N back to Sweden - we'd simply have to live apart during the colder months.

But I won't have to now!! My house is going to be toasty and snug and many a books will be read in front of that woodburner. That is a fact!

I could complain about having a shedload of people doing all this in October (I hate having strangers around) but I won't because it is no way near as bad as what Mrs E has it right now as they are renovating a whole house whilst living in it and - wait for it - while she is pregnant (due in December)! She is made of stronger stuff than me, that's for sure!

xx

* why are they all men? Not that I'm particularly bothered as I don't care who does what I want but it's funny how few women actually does this stuff when there are plenty of them (us?) out there...

Running for my life

After having spent the last couple of years hoping that my overweight would disappear and fitness level improve on their own and not having to go on weird diets and yada yada yada, I started longing for those days when I voluntarily got out and ran and loved it. I told Husband month ago but I think I needed to psych myself up mentally before I actually did it. I've always had problems (since I was in my late teens) with my knees and that has somewhat put a stop on a lot of things I could do but I was fed up with it.

And then Husband spoke to a patient who had started running and had found a program that was supported by the NHS. We love the NHS, not only have I always received the best care whenever I/we have needed it but it is also what pays the bills for us...

So this program is for total beginners and is called "Couch to 5K" and it has podcasts for each week/run so you don't have to clock watch which is a big thing for me. I know that I would look at the time and go, "Oh, only 10 more seconds - it's ok to stop and walk instead of running" etc etc. SO this way I have someone else tell me when to stop and start.

First run was awful, who would have thought that 60 second runs x eight would be so horrible? But it's gotten better and I have not yet cheated. We are now halfway through week 3 (out of 9) so still in the beginning but we're still doing it. I run on my own on Friday mornings after I've dropped Toddler N off at nursery and on Sunday's we walk to the forest/park where we take turns watching/walking with Toddler N and then we switch so that person can do the program and the same thing for Wednesdays when Husband is off. We couldn't do it together one weekend (drinks the night before) so I actually got up and did it in the morning at 6.15am before Husband had to go to work. Yes, I am very impressed and proud of myself for that one!

Husband is obviously in better shape than I am from having played 5 a side and also for having way better determination but like I said, I haven't cut a run short yet and am not planning to although I am a bit worried about week 5 where they step up the running time considerably.... BUT I am ENJOYING it immensely, I am better than I thought and I have more willpower than I thought and I don't feel too embarrassed when I come across other people while looking all red in the face and panting like a horny walruss - at least I am trying to better myself.

Anyhow, I have bought a knee support that feels good on but I guess we'll se after tomorrow. I'll just load up on Ibuprofen beforehand and ice it when I come back. It is painful but I know from previous experience that this is the point where I have to keep going and improve my muscles so that the knee gets better support and if I stop now it'll never get any better. And if I have to wear a knee support everytime I run from here on: so be it. I have to do this now or I'll never do it. Plus, it is a good way for me to get some time to myself without it costing [a lot of] money i.e. shopping or going to the gym or the SPA or to a cafe.

I think, however, that my main reason is Toddler N.  I want to make sure that Toddler N sees us being healthy and doing healthy stuff, just eating healthy and going for walks are not always enough. So I guess you could say I am doing it for my own health, for Husband and most importantly for Toddler N's health and future. This is it, I can take being responsible for messing up my own life and being lazy but not with Toddler N and Husband in the picture. I don't want to be the one dragging Toddler N into a lazy life where illness is never far away. I need and WANT to be healthy for my family and for me so that we can have long healthy lives and/or be able to physically fight whatever ailment might come our way.

The Olympics

So, London 2012 came and went and if everything had gone to plan then we would have just watched it from the couch. But we got the Olympic Fever so Husband went on a mad search for tickets (don't get me started on the whole ticket-buying system) and on one saturday evening he came rushing in to the tv room and said - "I've got tickets to women's boxing. Tomorrow!"
the rest of the evening went on to pack stuff that would/could be needed. And off we went on the Sunday morning. We drove down to Harpenden, parked and got a train into London and then to the the arena where the boxing was (Excel Arena) and had a great time!
Toddler N was AMAZING, he loved the whole experience and was superb the whole time. He got a few new toys that he picked out himself at St Pancras and was really happy to play with them and also on the Iphones...

After we got back to the car, we went to some friends' who live nearby for dinner and for Toddler N to play a little and just relax for a little bit. And again, he was brilliant. Once we got into the car, he had some milk and after 2 minutes he was asleep.  So all in all a very long day for our little boy but he did it  with style!

After that we said that Husband and I would possibly go down for the Paralympics to get a chance to get into the actual Olympic Park and Toddler N would stay home with Husband's parents.

BUT

Toddler N at the Olympic Park © Ems

Sweden got into the handball final (yeay) so Husband went on another mad bid to get tickets which we knew would be impossible but once again, on the last try, he managed to get 3!!! So off we went again, same trip but slightly different destination. THE OLYMPIC PARK!!

And again, Toddler N got 2 new toys, a cheap price to pay to ensure he wouldn't be bored by "old" ones. It was an amazing experience. Sadly, Sweden lost but in all honesty - France played better so I wasn't too bothered and it was very close (21-22).

I had to take Toddler N out for a little bit as I felt it was too noisy at that point, he didn't want to use his ear protectors, so we went out and had a little walk around and then when it had calmed down a little we went back and he was excited again and clapped and cheered when the prize ceremony took place.

As soon as we got the pushchair from the holding area, he put his feet up and went to sleep and slept all the way back to train station where we had parked the car. There was no lift and we had to carry him in the pushchair up the stairs at which point he woke up (he often sleep with his hands behind his head) and told us to be "arefuls" [careful].

So, now we can say that we have all been to the Olympics and we have lots of photos and mementos for when Toddler N is older.

After those two mad weekends I definitely felt I was done with the Olympics so now with David's week off coming up, we will just do stuff for Toddler N, like going to the beach, go to York and rent a little boat to go up and down the canal/river/whatever, visit the Butterfly House or the zoo at Doncaster... just little things like that.

Karma?

Not only do I seem to have an enormous invasion (total number of three) of pimples on my face - they are also the biggest I have ever had. There is absolutely no way I can cover these volcanoes up no matter the foundation. I have this urge to squeeeeeeze until they pop but as Husband says - "they're not ready!!" quickly followed by "you have got to let me pop those bad boys!". All said with a big grin!

Anyway, I have just got to be discreet when I pop (pardon the pun) into town to get a pair of running trousers. Yes, you heard it righ. RUNNING TROUSERS. I have decided I miss running - I probably won't on Thursday - and I have also decided that it would be a perfect way of getting a little bit of [free] me time that will, hopefully, make me feel better and not just physically.

Anyhow - more about the running schedule later. Husband is doing it with me so I'm not very likely to talk myself out of it.

So back to those pimples. Not only do I have those unsightly pimples but I have also been bitten by a mosquito whilst sleeping - or a whole "herd" of them - on my neck/shoulder, another one right where the bra strap goes and the worst one of all on the inside of my left thigh. Yeah, and it doesn't look nice if i itch it...

If this is karma then I have decided that I can't have been all that bad.

So Far So Good

I honestly thought that this day would be horrid. Toddler N woke up in the middle of the night and refused to go back to sleep in his own bed.

Yes, I know that we are supposed to "fight" him and get him to fall asleep in his own bed again but sometimes there is simply not enough energy or willpower to go through with that in the middle of the night. So he came in to our bed where he subsequently fell asleep within 2 seconds and somehow managed to keep me awake for the rest of the night.

I am not a night person, I need my sleep, so you can imagine the foul mood i was in this morning which did not get better when i realised Husband accidentally taken my card/money to work so I was unable to buy my pick-me-up drug (the brown fizzy diet drink).

But I dressed myself and Toddler N who was in a very good mood and walked up to the playpark where we had lots of fun. The lovely weather did a great pick-me-up job. And it has only gotten better from there. I am depressingly tired but Toddler N has been so much fun and very sweet which has done wonders for the day. He has let me kiss and cuddle him as much as I want and he was very, very polite when he asked if he could have some stickers. His speech is coming along tremendously and he is not at all behind other children in terms of speaking. It may be that he mixes swedish and english and therefore making it impossible for non-Swedish speakers to understand him but WE do and that is the main thing.

Toddler N last week -

A long Post without any paragraphs thanks to stupid iPad.

It has been a long time since I updated and it is because I/we have even busy doing everything and nothing. Husband and I are making sure we get a little bit more time to ourselves than we have been able to in a long time. Last weekend we went south to Sussex and stayed at a 5* country hotel and it was above and beyond all expectations. We would normally not spend that kind of money for just one night but I kind of won it so we thought, "what the heck?!" I will never be able to "slum" it in less than 5* now ;) We also decided to get Toddler N used to longer days at nursery as from next week he will be there the whole day on Fridays instead of just the afternoon. I know that he wound have been more than fine to start haing long days sooner but it is because I have not wanted him to. Silly? Perhaps, but I kind of like hanging out with my little boy even though we sometimes have "those" days when we clearly don't get along at all. But that is life, I guess. Anyways, yesterday we had him in for a full day as an extra session just to make sure he was ok with it. Again, he was fine and it was just me stressing about him not being happy to be there for a full day. Husband and I went to chatsworth estate which is amazing! And we have never been in the house/garden before, only to the park and village and the farm shop. And I am super glad the we went and ta we did not have Todder N as he would have hated going throug the house and I would have stressed about him hating it and potentially breaking something invaluable. But we will definitely take him when we go back to the gardens and also e little farmyard where they can feed and e lots of animals. I think we really need those little precious moments together where we can appreciate one another in a way that can be forgotten as we, obviously, make Toddler N our main priority. Next wednesday is another of those days but we är going to a proper English farm/country/animal show. You know, the kind where they compete about who has got the best and biggest carrots, cakes, cows and whatnots. I am super excited, being a proper country girl and all! So there it is, my life at the moment and when i am not gallivanting around on farm shows and visiting a Duke's estate I am tending to my garden, trying to get some order to it. We are a very happy family despite life's sometimes not so subtle way of reminding you of "survival of the fittest". It is a given and I totally accept it but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Anyway, to end on a happy note - for me anyway - we will be able to sort out our hideous bathroom sooner than expected (early next year)! Yeay! I truly, truly hate our current bathroom and though we can't do anything about the size as there is no more house, at least we will be able t make it nice. I will post photos of it in its current state and possibly also the different options I am thinking of. And yes, Husband will just have to go with what I like because he will love it :)

Phobias

I pride myself on being a farmer's daughter. Life and death does not frighten me like it frightens other people who have not grown up with the reality of caring för animals. I also know and fully respect that most animals (not wasps) are very important for our Eco- system. But there is one animal(?) that scares the living s**t out of me. I get all nauseous, my heart pounds like it is trying to break out of my ribcage. And like a lot of people my fear is masked by anger. I get angry for screaming and when people laugh at my reaction. I also know that my fear is completely irrational. The animal itself is harmless albeit totally disgusting. I try to keep a lid on the fear and I manage most of the time but not today! A hugemungously large and long earth worm (yes, a worm) crawled over my foot - you wouldnt believe how fast it must have been - and I totally lost it. And then I totally lost it again when my parents laughed at me. Totally irrational but I can't help it. I would love to not be affected by those yucky things but there you have it. I. AM. AFRAID. OF. WORMS.

Please, STOP asking

This will be rant type of post so if you don't want to read that sort of stuff, then please stop here.

I know that Toddler N has turned 2.
I know that it would be great time to get pregnant.
I know that we are more than able to care and love for another child.
I know that Toddler N would benefit from it.
I know that Toddler N would be a great big brother.
I know that I am not getting any younger.
I know we "should get going"
I know it would be a shame if we didn't try
I know all that and lots more.

But please stop asking when we're having another child or assuming I am pregnant because I choose not to have a glass of wine or be the designated driver.

Perhaps we have decided that we are happy with "just" Toddler N and with him being on his own can afford to send him to a really good school as the state schools here in England varies so much depending on area. Perhaps I am weary about how I'd cope with another baby and Toddler N when our families live so far away. Perhaps I am scared shitless about another Caesarean even though I have nothing but good memories from the first one. Perhaps I am a little bit more clued up on what could go wrong and what we would miss out on if something happened to the baby (or me). Perhaps I know I would be unable to cope mentally if anything went wrong.


Perhaps we are trying and have been trying for a while but nothing is happening?
Would it be so wrong if we decided that we are extremely lucky with what we have and "settle" with that? Or would it be so terrible if we didn't explore all the other options and other invasive procedures such as ivf etc etc because we are already happy?

We would be extremely happy and gratful if we had another child. BUT we are also extremely happy and grateful for the one we already have.

So please stop asking because it makes me feel like you think I/we shouldn't be happy or content with what we have. We are.

*pooooof*

I was standing in front of the deli aisle and all of a sudden I heard it. A "plop". No one else heard it as it was in y head but it was enough that I heard it. And then it came. Or went. Whichever way you would like to put it. My ability to think. Just like that. And from mentally planning the menu for the next few days, I all of a sudden was not quite sure why I was in town. Yes, congratulations to me. My brain completely shut down. Again. Now, people may argue that there was not much activity to bein with but it was enough for me to survive and I was ok with that. It started when I had shingles, which was a result of emotional stress, and every time there is a the of brain overload in terms of stress then it all shuts down. Last time it happened I was so out of it that I had to phone Husband if our cild needed a change of clothes because I could not deal with the type of decision making. And now it is back. Not as bad, thankfully but I had to just throw random food into the basket because I could not "understand" the menu I had planned in my head. I know it sounds silly but that's how it works. I think it's because I am a little apprehensive about leaving Toddler N with the in-laws for a few days while Husband and I go to Sweden for my cousin's wedding. We're only gone from Thursday afternoon til Monday morning but still. I am not entirely comfortable leaving him there and it makes me feel awful because I know how much they love him. I dunno. Anyhow. I will have to write serious lists on what I need to do for the coming week or I will forget the present, or clothes for me or my passport or something equally important. To be honest, I will probably need to list every minute and everything that I do automatically every single day, like having a shower... And I have to have a massage tomorrow as I can barely move my head/neck and it is horribly painful. A if I couldn't use that time for planning. Oh dear, I'm really complaining today, am I not? I have a good life, I know that and I am very tankful for it too, it's just a little bit too much at the moment. Hope you're well.

Gosh, it's been ages since I wrote here and I am sorry. We have been really busy and I am normally exhausted by the end of the day so I mostly just watch a bit f telly and then drag myself to bed. We've had guests. First, my parents who came to el s with the garden/fence and lots more. Let me tell you why I get frustrated when Husband's parents are here and it takes 3 hours for Husband's dad to change a lightbulb, put up a stair gate etc etc. My parents arrived on the thursday at 1pm and we just had a bit of a chat while eating lunch. Then my dad started getting a bit antsy so we went out to measure where the fence was to go and all that stuff. He couldn't actually put anything up apart from 3 fence posts as he had strictly told s not to buy any scres Neil he got there so he could pick out what he needed. I guess he didn't quite rus s to pick the right ones ;) Anyway, the next day we had the screws so he got started and as of my magic he was done by 1pm... Granted, our garden is the biggest but still... I am so proud of my parents. Husband could not believe it when he got back from work nd it was all done and neither could his dad. Husband had actually taken Monday off to help out with the fence but as that was not needed we just had a nice relaxing day and he took my dad to the diving range for him to try it out. And then we had one of my friends come to stay as well and it was really good fun. Not that we went out partying or anything but I think she just needed to get away for a few days. So then we had planned to have a super relaxed weekend all to ourselves and do nothing. Yes... Toddler N managed to get chickenpox. Not so much fun as he really suffered throughout the first two nights and I had to sit up and stroke his back to get him to relax. Last night he actually slept through till 4.30am so I was a very happy, still tired but very happy mommy. He has been super active all day today and he is currently refusing to go to bed without me so I am sat in the doorway with my back to him and typing this on Husband's iPad. Thank god for small computer things as I don't really have a good book at the minute... A not sure that Husband s too happy though. Shopping on EBay is great with the iPad.... I will try to write again soon but have ver busy week ahead. Xx

Den här bloggposten vaccinerar 95 barn

Den här bloggposten vaccinerar 95 barn

Just nu söker UNICEF en hälsospecialist till konfliktområden i Afghanistan. I tjänsten ingår bland annat att massvaccinera miljontals barn mot stelkramp, polio och mässling.

Jag skulle gärna ta mig an uppdraget, men eftersom jag inte kommer loss så publicerar jag den här bloggposten istället. Då vaccinerar jag nämligen 95 barn runtom i världen mot stelkramp tillsammans med Apotek Hjärtat. Det är också bra.

Jag är med UNICEF i kampen för varenda unge. Vill du också vara med och förändra barns liv? Bli Världsförälder här: unicef.se/bli-varldsforalder. För 100 kronor i månaden är du med och ser  till att barn över hela världen får vaccin, medicin, rent vatten och utbildning.

Har du en blogg och vill vaccinera ytterligare 95 barn? För varje bloggare som publicerar den här bloggposten mellan 16 april och 13 maj så skänker Apotek Hjärtat 95 stelkrampsvaccin. Läs mer och hämta bloggmaterial på unicef.se/sprid-budskapet/bloggkampanj

© UNICEF/Asselin

I don't...

...smoke and I hardly ever drink but with this on in the background I could most definitely see myself sitting in a comfy armchair with a cigar and a glass of smooth single malt whisky and just ... be.

I take it back! Sort of...

I normally joke and say that it is obvious that I didn't fall in love with Husband for his handy skills... I mean, this is a man who cannot use bluetack without messing it up. He's always tried, Bless him, but more often than not it has not gone to plan.

But this past weekend he has shown absolute talent in being a gardener. There is this space in the garden which has been an awful eyesore since we moved in. I have cut down the massive bushes and various other crappy plants that grew amongst the coal that the previous owners just chucked out after cleaning the fireplace (I know!). The little wall at the bottom of this flowerbed/rockery area had also fallen so it was just begging to get sorted. And we've ignored it because we've needed to do other jobs and we knew this would take a lot of effort and time. Which you don't really have a lot of as parents to a wild, wilder, wildest almost-2-year-old boy.

But yesterday we just started picking the wall apart and all of a sudden we were in this frenzy of digging, pulling up roots, unearthing rocks and what have you. The little wild one was "sorted" by letting him play with his sandtable, a brush (he loves to sweep) and towards the end - a bucket of water which was the absolute favourite part of his day!

And while he had his afternoon nap we finished it and it looks great! It's no longer an eyesore and the best part of it all? We did it by ourselves and it looks as nice as if it would have been done by our parents. And to be honest, I probably would have given up in a huff and a puff of a strop after realising I have no talent in wall building but Husband was amazing. So I can no longer say that he is not handy - at least not in the garden department.

xxx

Life got in the way...

...which is why I haven't updated the blog since forever. Toddler N and I have been to Sweden where I just felt drained in general so I didn't arrange to meet up with anyone apart from the closest family and it was nice not rushing around to meet so and so. I'll try to better next time though!

Last weekend I got the worst tummy bug I've ever had and this is saying a lot. I used to get really poorly when I was younger (up to mid-teens) and that was a walk in the park compared to this. I fainted during one particular forceful session of vomiting. Husband wanted to help out but I decided that I wasn't ill enough to let someone else deal with my sick. We'll wait for that a little while longer.

But there are positive stuff to focus on and we learn something new about ourselves in such situations. I learnt that I need to chew my food a bit better, that cheesy doritos taste the same when they come up again and Husband learnt that Wifey (me) is as stubborn when I am weak from illness as when I am well.

I also learn that wishes do come true! Toddler N did not get ill - just a little diarrhoea and he was uncomfortable with that (who isn't?) but it could have been soooo much worse!

So, I don't feel I can complain. Husband was great - apart from when I heard him laughing outside the bathroom door (I'll get him for that) - and Toddler N is back on track. We're starting to see the finish line with redecorating our house - the office will be done within a couple of weeks (waiting for furniture) and we might even get started on the last and worst room of them all - The Bathroom - this year. Yeay.

I guess we're pretty busy but there's no point in waiting for things to get done. Life does not work that way and we're living it!

xxx