Chocoholic Update

You might wonder what happened to my chocolate-detox that I had to endure a while back. If you don't remember you can click here to read about my horrible withdrawal - Lindsay Lohan, you may have drugrelated problems but you don't know pain until you've tried not to eat any chocolate!

Anyway, it's been quiet on that front and I have to admit that I'm back on it again but not to the same extent as before. Now I have a chocolate biscuit and that's ok. No more lunches consisting of a Mars bar. I am a good girl, don't you think? Everything is ok as long as it is in moderation although I should confess that i sometimes think about how nice it would be to cuddle up on the sofa with a Mars bar and a good book. Hey! It's not a bad idea! Might just do that after my stroll through town.

Saying that - I am trying to lose a few pounds (or many) for our trip to cape verde in October. I can't wait! It'll be so nice to just be by the pool or on the beach and have nothing to worry about apart from when it's time to slather on some more sunscreen on Boyfriend's back. He is such a "pale-fart"!

It's either the end of the weekend or the start of the next

Oh well, another weekend has ended. I don't know why I feel upset about that as I don't have a job to go to tomorrow so it's not a "Aaarrrgh Monday" kind of Monday. As my dream job didn't come through (I would have loved working at the vet station but it's their loss....) I signed up to an employment agency.

Those who know me also know that i can be quite picky about things so I picked the agency in the nicer area of town... Not only does it look nicer, it also advertise "nicer" jobs i.e. jobs that I can do. As much as I'd like to, it's just not possible for me to get a job as a HGV-driver (Heave Goods Vehicle) as I have trouble backing a normal small-ish car with a trailer hooked up. The darn thing always goes the wrong way and I'm always really worried about backing up too far which means that the last bit is the kind of jerky "Go!" "Stop" "Little bit more... And that is why I can't get a job as a HGV-driver. That and the fact I don't like driving on the "wrong" side of the road...

Anyway, I'd like to get a job so I can meet new people (and make some money). There are boundaries which one shouldn't cross with one's Boyfriend and discussing cute guys is one of them and I sometimes have The Need to just say "Yikes - look at that guy over there! I'd like to bite his tush..." I accidentally did it once and it didn't go down too well...

I could kill for some chocolate tonight - and some Skittles!

You can feel tingly all over for so many reasons..

The intercom/phone rang this morning while we were still in bed. I usually curse and wish whomever it is to die a painful death but not today... It was the dress I'd ordered from China. All right, the dress didn't use the intercom but the delivery guy did. So Boyfriend staggered out of bed (he loves me) and went down to the entrance to sign for it. I've already tried it on, it's very nice - a tiny bit too big but rather that than too small. I can always [try to] take in the seems on the side. My legs look nice in it and they bloody well should after all the walking up and down Sheffield's hills. Ohh, nice clothes (or shopping in general) makes me all tingly!

A Kingsized Mars bar wouldn't be bad to celebrate my new dress but I shouldn't. Sometimes I feel like that schizo little creature Gollom in LOTR as I have this constant ongoing debate whether or not I should have chocolate:

- I can't eat chocolate! It's not good for me!
- Do you hear that my Precious chocolate? The fat one thinks she can stay away. We knows what is good. She'll never be happy without it!
- No! No! I'm doing so well without it. I feel good about myself for not eating it but perhaps a little bite won't hurt...
- Yes! Yes! Chocolate is good for Us. We won't be fat if we [only] eat chocolate. We'll kill anyone who tries to stop us from having the Preciousss chocolate!

And then I sit there patting the bar of chocolate while salivating like a rabid dog.

I think I might have a problem...

is it chocolate I see before me...?

I don't need chocolate but I fancy it. I'm sitting here by the computer and Boyfriend's bag of "revels" is strategically placed on the desk. Is it taunting me? No, not really, as it's got coffeetasting "buttons" in the mix. I hate that. The thought of accidentally munching on a vile coffee button is enough to stop me from ripping the bag open. It's more than enough actually so I'll just leave it there for Boyfriend to eat and perhaps bite one in half and say "Honey, this is a caramel button, you can have that." But I know, he knows and I'm sure you know that that is not very likely to happen.

A fascist heel!

It's Day 4 of this tremendously 'interesting' battle between Ems and chocolate. Ems is, so far, in the lead by ignoring all the chocolate calling for her in the stores "Eeeeems, I'm here! You need me!" It almost sounds a bit pervy but that's what they usually call out to me but perhaps my ability to "hear" them has disappeared alongside with the other voices in my head. Nah, only joking - I still hear the other voices...

Anyway, my heel hurts a lot. I don't think I've mentioned it before but it seems kind of a stupid thing to complain about. But it hurts so bad. Imagine the feeling of the heel bone grinding against the floor/shoe when you walk with only a bit of skin in between? Yeah, well that's how it feels. Bloody painful. I looked it up as Boyfriend is of no use here: "Don't know shit about heels, maybe you've sprained a tendon or something?" So much use for a Boyfriend who's a doctor!

Listen, pal! I've sprained a helluva lot of tendons in my days, knee-tendons, ankle-tendons, other foot-tendons etc etc. and they we're not as painful as this is. I mean, I'm not even in the mood for shopping!*Gasp!* Horror!! Something is seriously wrong.

So I looked it up on the internet. It may be that I have a case of: ... wait while I copy and paste it.... oh here we go: Plantar Fasciitis and even though it sounds as a slight case of fascism, it isn't. Boyfriend said it was a good diagnosis and it could be treated with an injection straight into the painful area. Yeay! I've always dreamt of having a needle stuck in my heel and especially during summer as my soles are tough as leather from running around barefoot (some never grow up). The scary thing is that it might be worth it as long as the pain goes away - and that's how much it hurts...

I may need a chockie bar now...

Day 3

I'm on my third day without any chocolate and I'm feeling fine. It's early but I feel good and even though it's just in my imagination, I feel a little bit less big. I seriously want to lose some weight and if nothing else just to have my boobs go back to their normal size as this is ridiculous... They're everywhere and always in the way - it's difficult to sleep on my tummy which is the only way I'm really comfortable in bed - especially as it's possible to have my back scratched at the same time. Bliss.

Anyway - 3 days without chocolate and I don't have an urge for any either, just yet...

Chocoholics Anonymous

My name is Ems and I am a chocoholic.

It is time I admit this to myself and to others and
I will from now on go for a walk
whenever I feel like having a sweet treat.

I have a feeling I'll be on a
walkabout for a
v e r y
long time...