Saturday, 12 May 2012
I was standing in front of the deli aisle and all of a sudden I heard it. A "plop". No one else heard it as it was in y head but it was enough that I heard it. And then it came. Or went. Whichever way you would like to put it. My ability to think. Just like that. And from mentally planning the menu for the next few days, I all of a sudden was not quite sure why I was in town. Yes, congratulations to me. My brain completely shut down. Again. Now, people may argue that there was not much activity to bein with but it was enough for me to survive and I was ok with that. It started when I had shingles, which was a result of emotional stress, and every time there is a the of brain overload in terms of stress then it all shuts down. Last time it happened I was so out of it that I had to phone Husband if our cild needed a change of clothes because I could not deal with the type of decision making. And now it is back. Not as bad, thankfully but I had to just throw random food into the basket because I could not "understand" the menu I had planned in my head. I know it sounds silly but that's how it works. I think it's because I am a little apprehensive about leaving Toddler N with the in-laws for a few days while Husband and I go to Sweden for my cousin's wedding. We're only gone from Thursday afternoon til Monday morning but still. I am not entirely comfortable leaving him there and it makes me feel awful because I know how much they love him. I dunno. Anyhow. I will have to write serious lists on what I need to do for the coming week or I will forget the present, or clothes for me or my passport or something equally important. To be honest, I will probably need to list every minute and everything that I do automatically every single day, like having a shower... And I have to have a massage tomorrow as I can barely move my head/neck and it is horribly painful. A if I couldn't use that time for planning. Oh dear, I'm really complaining today, am I not? I have a good life, I know that and I am very tankful for it too, it's just a little bit too much at the moment. Hope you're well.