In Which I Will Know the Truth

Am hoping I am able to sleep a bit better tonight as a lot of of last night, especially between 3.30 and 6.30, was spent wide awake with a tummy full of flittering butterflies. Normal? Apparently so.

And just as I was a bout to nod off at around 5.30 Boyfriend starts moving about and pulls off his boxershorts* and lies there totally nekkid!! As if anything would happen at that time....

Oh, who am I kidding? Let's try again: As if anything would happen no matter what time if there'd been almost no sleep! Naughty boy. But he did it in his sleep so I'm planning to interrogate and find out exactly what/who he was dreaming about. And trust me(!) I'm not above using waterboarding or electrical cables attached to nipples/testicles.

So sweet dreams ;)

*in an impressively smooth and quick move, I might add...

Oh oh

A new week today and as for many many people, a workday. Yes, it was dull as shit but not as bad as I thought it'd be so that's nice!

As far as the house goes... Meh! I only get stressed/depressed when I think about it so I've decided to skip that part (mentally) and am skipping ahead to Christmas! This year I am actually really excited as I'll be staying in Sheffield with Boyfriend and hopefully in the house with a proper Christmas tree.

The only thing is that Boyfriend and I have to agree on a date when to put the tree inside the house. I'm used to us (my family and cousins) going into our forest on the 4th of Advent (or 3rd if 4th is too close to Christmas Eve) to pick out a tree, cut it down, bring it home. Then it stays outside for a few days before we take it in and decorate it on the 23rd.

Boyfriend says trees come inside early December here. I'm not so keen on that as it will have died before Christmas itself... I can see some "discussions" coming up about this.

I won't give in though... Our Christmas is going to be MY way - or at least most of it.

Keeping It Up

"It's a new day,
It's a new dawn
It's a new life
For me
and I'm feeling good"


I think...
Yeah, I do.

Ka Pow!

And just as you think you can see light at the end of the tunnel of stress...

WHAM!

Something else hits you and you're pulled back and
you have to start all over again...

.

When will the stress and worry end?!

Goodness

I just watched Ice Dreams - one of those sappy, feel good tv-movies and I loved it. Got a bit tearyeyed as well. And how can you not like it? The main girl is played by Jessica Cauffiel, who played Margot in both Legally Blonde movies (love her!).

Yep, just what I needed.

In Which It Is Up & Down

This stress I'm feeling at the moment is starting to stress me out.
How's that for ironic?!
Yesterday it almost got me but I managed to fend it off.
I didn't exactly "hit the wall"
but
I think I ran into the doorpost
and it scared me.
I had a little cry in the Ladies and then I felt better.
Sad? Yes!
Needed? Absolutely!

All I can do is try and laugh.
Ha ha ha.

Be Still My Heart*

I am not sure if it is my heart that is beating so fast or if it is an Alien trying to break out of my chest cavity...

I don't know what's worse - a pulse of 84/minute (I have been stretched out on the sofa for the past hour) or housing one of those nasties...

Oh Why oh why did the Predators not kill them all? I was sorta cheering for them...



* But NOT too still...

November

Second day of November is almost over and it was quite clear from the start of yesterday that the lovely weather October had is not to be November's "song". It's a lot colder and a lot wetter. Oh well, it is after all ... November.

Our move has been postponed another couple of days. Our buyer's solicitors couldn't get done in time so another 5 days has been allocated. Stupid cow - the stuff she hasn't got is stuff she should have sorted out 2 months ago. So hopefully we'll get our house next week instead.

I can't wait!!

Growing Old

Boyfriend went out on a pay day social last night and had arranged to have dinner beforehand with his old house mates from Uni. I buzzed him in at 00.30 which was quite early considering his history of pay day socials (he's usually back way later). The one thing he said before drifting off into sleep was:

"We've changed sooo much since our Uni days. We used to talk about where we were going, where the fittest girls would be and all saying we wouldn't bother turning up to lectures, hospitals the next day so we could get absolutely pissed but now...

...I found myself talking to T about us heading off home early to make sure we wouldn't be late for surgery in the morning, that the wine wasn't a nice year and also.... Listen to this Ems: I asked him, I asked him, if he and A had found Phil & Ted to be a good brand. I mean, we're having dinner at a restaurant and this is what we talk about... Jeeesus - we're getting old, aren't we?"

I was in no position to laugh, I'd gotten into bed at ten.

I wanna be like you-oh-oh

I love this video... How cool is this dad?! Most parents would have kept on going in the car to take their post-dentist-drugged-up child home. But not this one... he films it!!

Awesome!

...

I'm off tomorrow and that means that
Thursday is my Friday.
Weekend!
Yeay!!

Bla bla bla

You know what? It's been really warm here today! About 15C ! Isn't it crazy?

It's almost November, the shops are decorating for Christmas, the city's Christmas lights are all up (although not lit), we're in the UK - the coldest country on the planet-, and I can walk home from the shops at 17.30 in a short sleeved cardigan! It reminds me of when I was an au-pair in Philly and we still wore shorts on the 30th of October (but that's different).

Oh My, Hilary Clinton is looking old! (she was just on the news)

That's about it.

Crash and Burn Girl

I've spent the last 2,5 days in bed with migraine and horrible "body cold" i.e. not sniffly or sneezing as you would with a head cold but shivery, aches in muscles and joints and a little bit of a temperature spike. It hasn't been nice at all but all that's left now is a bit of dizziness so I guess I'd better go back to work or the Dragon Lady (not Thatcher - who'd be a big softie compared to the "lady" who's my boss) might rip my intestines out for not being tethered to my desk the way she likes us to be - we're nothing but slaves...

Well, other than that everything is just fine and dandy. Am not at all stressed for having been unable to use the last 3 evenings to pack and clean. Nope, not at all. Am cool as a cucumber. My pulse is about 16/minute... Ooops, sorry it should have been 216/minute to be a wee bit more accurate. And that's my resting pulse.

Crash and burn - that's what will happen and I really should try and calm down and not let anything raise my pulse. It's simply not good for me or b**y but I am really trying but what's worse is that I get a little bit more stressed when de-stressing doesn't work. It's Sod's Law. Boyfriend is good though and picks me up when I mess up/forget something or shut down.

I'm thinking yoga or an elephant-sized sedative might be the way forward.

;)

Odd

I have the weirdest dreams

There is one that keeps coming back to me. Or rather, the place where it happens is the same but the stuff that happens changes from dream to dream.

~~~

I'm in a forest and it's not a forest I am familiar with.
In the latest dream I had to camp out in a tiny
wooden hut. Quite a flimsy little thing.

We're hiding from a bear. It's me, one of my old students,
a person I don't know and a dog.
All of a sudden there
is this almighty crash and a piece of the back wall disappears.
A huge bear appears in the whole and
grabs the dog.
But then it's no longer a dog. It is a girl/young woman
(ok, my age...)
I try to grab her hand and pull her away from the bear
and I keep hitting the bear
on the head to make it let go at the same time as I am
shielding my old student in case the bear goes for her.
The bear keeps its grip and doesn't seem bothered about
my attempts to scare it off.
The dog/girl is all quiet and all you can hear are my screams and sobs
and her head is now in the bear's jaws
and it keeps biting down and down and down
until the girl's skull
just cracks.
It's the most horrible sound I've ever heard.
it echoes around the quiet forest
The bear lets go and
runs off, back into the forest.
And all we can do is sit there and watch
and wait.

For nothing.

~~~~

I think we can all agree that I am
in need of
some HELP.

Am I too Picky?

I've lost my phone - or broke it. Whatever. I can't find it anyway so I've been looking for a good monthly deal. Yes, you've heard it. Ems is looking to abandon the faithful Pay as You Go scheme!

Well, to be perfectly honest - the Pay As You Go here is so crappy that it's not even worth the trouble. And for various reasons I will be needing to be able to contact Boyfriend without worrying about "do I have enough credit?" etc. I had my eyes on a particular phone with a low monthly fee that'd give me a decent amount of free minutes and texts (perfect) but it turned out to not be such a good deal after all. Am I surprised?

I want a decent looking phone, not too plastic, not a "slide", definitely not a Samsung and preferably Sony Ericson, Nokia or Blackberry. I don't care about how many mega pixels the camera has as I have an awesome SLR and I'm not bothered about how many songs it'll fit (that's what my pink Zen stone is for). I need a P H O N E to text and call people with, and the option to get Internet if I ever were to want it (doubt it). But most of them are too boyish or too plastic - white with golden buttons? Nope, not quite my style... *shudder*

Am I asking too much of a phone?