Long Rant about Childminders

Let me first start by saying that my mother was a childminder when i was little. I remember a lot of kids growing up in our home and so on until my mom quit and got another job. It was not until later in life that I was told she had to quit because I was not coping well with all those kids around me in my home and had terrible nightmares about kids stealing my LEGO (yes, this is true) and because no one believed her when she alerted Social Services about 2 girls being physically punished in their home as their father was a priest ("and a priest wouldn't do that") and when the girls stopped coming she felt she was done with how the system had treated her and the girls. But on the plus side is that my mom still have "her" former children to come up and say "hi" if they spot her in town or around the village and even my sister and I have had people come up and talk about how much fun they used to have in our house etc.

I always considered it to be an option for my then future children. They'd be in a home environment and with not too big groups of children at once, which they can be at nurseries.

With Toddler N it was pretty much decided from the start where we wanted him to go as we live 5 minutes walk from the best nursery in our city, it constantly gets the grade of "excellent" in OFSTED reports and schools are very, very happy with the knowledge and behaviour that the children from this nursery shows when they start school. So no argument or debating there... but I have sometimes wondered a little how it could have been with a childminder.

Toddler N and I go to a Playgroup every Monday morning I have seen just how some childminders work and it is terrible. Please remember that we are lucky to live in a very good suburb where people are, for the most part, very well behaved. It is kind of like living in a small village.

First off, these childminders just sit there and chat amongst themselves. I never know what children belongs to which childminder whereas you do see quite clearly if a parent/grandparent is there with a child. The childminders NEVER interact with their charges and you can spot a childminder's "child" a mile away on the fact that they NEVER have their noses wiped if they are snotty so it's all green mucus running down in their mouths and on to hands and therefore on to toys. It's a massive pet hate of mine.

Yes, Toddler N has a runny nose every now and then but you'll also see me scouting him out for a wipe every 4 minutes or more if needed.

With the interaction, I mean that they never help their charges out if they want help with being pushed around in a car or if they want to go down the slide etc. Often they even let them cry if they accidentally fall or until someone else feels sorry for them and picks them up to comfort.

It really annoys me because
1) these children are small, we are talking babies and toddler here and they do need help even when we want them to learn to be independent.
2) This is their JOB, parents are paying them to look after the most precious "thing" they have.
3) I'd be pretty pissed off as a parent if I knew that the childminder spent a good part of a morning ignoring the children whilst having a nice cup of tea and a chat. Goodness knows how many playgroups they go to every week. Nice and easy job, isn't it?
4) If they behave like this in public. Just HOW do they behave in their homes? I know they are regulated but everyone can clean up their acts for scheduled visits once or twice a year etc.
45) They are CHILDREN!

Trust me, I know how frustrating it can be to be at home with an insolent toddler and sometimes I just want to scream and bang my head against the wall and that is WHY I couldn't look after anyone else's child/ren as a job. I know my limits and I have a child who's constantly pushing them in between being the most wonderful child ever, but I couldn't do it as a job.

So what made me so annoyed today? Well, it is Monday so Toddler N and I have been to the playgroup and there is this childminder that makes my hair stand on end. 2 of her charges (I have no idea how many she looks after) are brothers and they fight and can be quite rough with each other and other children (Noah's been attacked which made him frightened of going for a couple of weeks) and the Childminder never ever keeps an eye on them and tries to stop any fights erupting. And if your child is in a bit of a mood, you do keep an extra eye on them at all times to make sure they behave, right? Anyway, that is what the/us parents there seem to do.

Today it was a smaller child's turn to be on the receiving end of the younger brother and he pushed this child to the ground and he broke down crying. I was busy sorting out a table with train tracks so just didn't get there in time to help the little one up and as I saw the childminder right behind her charge I kind of figured she would sort it out, which she should. BUT imagine my horror when I see her just pulling the little one to his feet and then grab "her" boy's arm really hard and yank him towards the little one "to say SORRY!" so aggressively that he stumbles and headbutts the little one so he falls down again, this time in obvious pain.

I was completely shocked, cried "OH MY GOD" (it's in a church), dropped everything I had in my hands to scoop the little one up but another mother got to him before I did and handed him over to his grandmother who hadn't seen what happened. So I just stood there watching as the childminder picked up her teacup and went back to her seat as if nothing had happened. As if SHE hadn't just been really rough, causing 2 little boys pain, even if it happened by accident and frustration.

I usually don't have a problem squaring up to people and telling them exactly what I think of their behaviour but I just didn't know what to do or how to go about it. A dad who was right next to me looked absolutely disgusted and just shook his head at me and said that there is no way that his children would ever go to a childminder despite the home environment, smaller groups and the substantial lower cost than a nursery. And I can't help but agree.

I know that there are good and absolutely wonderful childminders out there but I just wouldn't chance it. Not with the love of my life. No, absolutely not.

2 other mothers saw it too and we'd agreed that we'll keep an eye out and if anything happens again then we will have to act and bring it up with someone who knows who this person is and who the boys are.

It frightens me.