The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Lucky

The Good:
I am - or my nose is - no longer as blocked up as I - it - was 3 days ago.

The Bad:
I have been snacking all day and I am still hungry.

The Ugly:
Me - trying on a pair of jeans. Or rather trying to get out off them without ripping down the curtain and landing bare-arsed (knickers slid off at the same time as the jeans) in the middle of the changing room.

The Lucky:
I was alone in the changing room...

Global Warming? Pffft! I've got a real problem!!

So - time for my first British Office X-mas Party. Now, what the hell should I wear? Am I the only one who's got the idea that the above mentioned parties are 1) quite formal so pretty dresses and super duped up hair and/or 2) usually really wild and you never know where you'll end up/wake up the next day?

It could also be the kind of party where you make a total arse of yourself and can never go back to work again... which means I then ought to have at least looked good while making a fool of myself.

So, what to wear?

It's the little things...

Boyfriend came in, while on the phone, and gave

me half of the orange he'd
peeled for himself.

My cup runneth over

Doctor - I think we have a severe case of logorrhea!

After getting back from our grocery shopping I got annoyed with the way Boyfriend had shoved one bag in the boot of the car and this is the conversation that lead to Boyfriend being in serious trouble...

Me: Aww! Now you've made the bananas all mushy. The fuggin golfbag takes up the whole boot.
B/f: Shut it, Ems. I'm tired of your complaining. One of these days I'll slap you.
Me: Do you think I'll quietly stand by and just let you slap me?! I'll kick the crap out off you!
B/f: I think the court would rule in my favour after they hear about your mood swings.
Me: Oh, I'll dupe the judge -I'll pout with my lower lip and tell him how you've abused me despite me giving up everything and moving over: "He beat me up and I had bruises all over and I don't bruise easily and not to mention how he leaves me all alone in the flat with nothing to eat...".
B/f: They'd see that you are everything but malnourished!
Me: *ice-cold silence*
B/f: What?
Me: You're saying I'm fat!
B/f: Nooo. I didn't... I mean that you're not... Oh shit!
Me: Mmmm - that's what you're up to your waist in....

We love each other! Really!

It was just a matter of time...

It's a woman's urinal! *insert snorting laugh here*

Is it just me or would it not be awfully awkward to use unless you're wearing a skirt and no knickers? Or would you push the knickers "to one side"?
Will "they" be placed in separate stalls or is the age of women squatting side by side upon us?

And - isn't that man a little bit too interested in the urinal? After all, it wouldn't be for him - but perhaps he's into the torso-less mannequin... What do I know?

What I do know is that you won't find me standing spread eagled over any type of urinal any time soon.

Found on bbc.co.uk's "In Pictures"

Hush...

... don't tell anyone and you did not hear it from me
but I just might
enjoy working in the 'finance industry'...

If only my economics teacher could see me now!
I'm quite a few steps away from the
horse-drawing/schlager-singing girl at the
back of the classroom
xx
years
ago!

What sucks today:
I've got a cold that could only be described as the "Queen of Colds".

Not so sexy:
A nose so red that Rudolph would have laughed at it.

Oh Dear...

...England lost against Croatia in tonight's game, which means that they did not qualify for the European Cup 2008 (well, some kind of cup next summer - it's hard to remember which one as there's always another tournament on).

Now - I'm not bothered at all but Boyfriend most certainly will be traumatised by this tragic loss. I don't know the extent of damage just yet as he decided to watch it at the pub. No doubt they'll be drowning their sorrows.

I'd better go and practise on my "Oh honey, I'm soooo sorry!"-face in the mirror before he gets back and I bet he won't even comment on how much worse my cold has got - the selfish git...

Death at a Funeral

Absolute gem of comedy about two brothers discovering the secrets of their father on the day of his funeral and trying to keep it quiet for the sake of their mom and also to honour their dad.

Rarely have I laughed as much as I did when watching this movie. I was worried I would be asked to leave... Brilliant acting (watch out for 'Simon').

Words can not do this movie justice, so I'll just leave it at that.

A Sudden Craving

It's been 9.5 years since my last and I haven't really thought
about it after moving back from the States.
Until now.

I could just kill for a Boston Creme Donut.

I used very bad language last night!

I broke our hallway mirror last night. Well, it fell down by itself but as I'd just been there to fiddle with it, I'll have to accept the fact that it's my fault.

Boyfriend laughed and tried to make me feel better by saying that it was for the 7 years I've just had and not the next 7 years. Nice try sweet pea, but I know how it works and it doesn't count 'backwards'.

And then a man motioned me to walk under his ladder as opposed to crossing the street on my way to work this morning. As if!! I almost threw up and ran across the street while mumbling all possible anti-bad luck "verses" I know. They usually go in the same tone as: "anyone else but me... anyone else but me!" I'm selfish, so what?

To finish on a good note: I've just managed 1 week within the finance business-thing (don't know the proper name for it and never will...) without having died once - even though it was pretty close yesterday morning but I managed to resuscitate myself with a Mars-bar. Thank fug for Mars!

I really shouldn't have ticked that box!

As part of the job introduction-thing I (we) had to sign various forms where one was about "Bird Flu Pandemic" aka "The Next Plague" aka "Mass Killer" aka "Mother Earth Kicks Ass".

Ems was in a good mood thinking "There's no way I'll still be working here when that happens..." and happily ticked the boxes to agree that "yes I can help out in the evenings and weekends if needed in case of a pandemic" as I reckoned Boyfriend would be out on the field curing the sickos anyway, leaving me home alone, and I was in the frame of mind that it wouldn't happen any time sooooon.

1 day later: BBC News Headline - Bird flu discovered on a turkey-farm in the south of England and the virus just happens to be the kind that can be transferred to people... Scary but not as scary that the story was mainly about how it'll affect people's x-mas dinner...

Give that form back - I've changed my mind! I'm not going to help people whose only concerns are whether or not they can put a fuggin' turkey on the table!
Geez!

What?

Sat and listened in on calls today. I understood what the people phoning in were saying but I did not understand what they wanted. Does that make any sense?

I'm not in telemarketing and not in the sex-calling business - what I'm to do is about security something something. I'm sure I'll understand it at some point. I hope.

Boyfriend, the big game hunter!

I was sat by the computer when something big flew by and at first I thought I was imagining it as it made no sound (as flies of that size do buzz) so I didn't react. The second time it flew by I jumped up and chased it into the bathroom so Boyfriend could kill it rather than me having to do it as, frankly, I couldn't be arsed. He agreed to do so as he likes the idea of him protecting me in return for the fact that I saved his butt when we were attacked by wild dogs in Samoa - I beat 2 of them off with a really cute umbrella, which sadly broke. Sometimes I wish I hadn't as it was a really pretty brolly and Boyfriend can be quite annoying at times!**

Anyway, after Boyfriend had finished his shower I started hearing some "getting ready to kill" sounds and he called "Hey, Ems! Come look at this!" So I opened the bathroom door only to be met by the sight of my naked Boyfriend jumping about while flinging his towel over his head. Exactly what he wanted me to come and have a look at, that I'm not sure but I was yet once again struck by how ridiculous boys look naked. Evolution, ha! I slammed the door shut to get stop the fly getting away and to make sure Boyfriend didn't see me laugh.

Finally, I heard a big "YEAH!" and a "No one fugs with *Boyfriend's surname*!" So I assumed that the fly had met his master and Boyfriend readily came out to tell me how the hunt went down;

"The little fugger almost had me and it hid under the wash basin and I couldn't get at it so I had to chase it out with some toilet tissue and when it came at me I swatted it with my towel! Brilliant, huh?!"

I'm so proud!!



**And before you go all sweet on the dogs: they would have bit us pretty bad, it's probably the only negative one could find about that country; the wild dogs. And I love dogs so I felt really guilty for ages but I had to do it or Boyfriend would never allow me to get a dog as he is afraid of dogs. So you see, I had no choice! And getting bit by dogs isn't what it's cracked up to be...

First Day

Oh. My. God!

This will be interesting... first day of my training - I've spent 7 hours reading rules, information etc and watching informational videos. It's pretty darn tiring especially as I'm still not quite sure what exactly it is I'm going to do. But know I know a little bit more than this morning; I'm going to be an Enquiry Clerk, answering people's questions etc, which means our training (it's me and a guy) has to include a bit of everything that they do so we know what to say or what to advice on...

And I know the quota I have to reach once I'm fully trained although I'm not allowed to say as it's all very hush-hush. And I am now a representative for this company so I'd better behave accordingly at all times, which doesn't bode well considering what a wild-child I am.

I am absolutely knackered and I'm going to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night!

Btw, I was the oldest by faaaar! Ok, the guy training us is a fair bit older than me but still...

Inventions for Urban Women

I give this lady an A+ for creativity!

Say Cheese!

If you have been so unfortunate as to have read my blog since the start (march this year) then you'll know that there's an quarterly market in the city centre that makes me sooo happy. Yes! Yes, it is indeed the Continental market (old posts here and here)!!

I had an errand to the agency yesterday and as I turned the corner by HMV I realised that it was back in town and I basically ran to the agency, sorted it out and then I just strolled around the whole market. Lovely.

My little shopping bag that I have in my handbag (God, I'm old!) was quickly stuffed with some cheese and grapes, which is something I always buy as Boyfriend and I then have a nice evening with cheese, crackers, grapes, chutney and wine. Mmmm!

I had a sneaky start to the cheese last night (can always buy more today) and as I stood by the kitchen counter, this very, very strange and unhealthy odour surrounded me. And I thought; "Shit - what is that smell?! Is it the trash? Nope, that's not it. The dishwasher? No, that's on. Boyfriend's shin-pads? It can't be, they're out on the balcony... Oh My God! It's the cheese!"

Yes, I know what you think -cheese smells! I do know that and I quite like some of the smelly cheeses but this was a smell that, like I said, gave me an image of a dirty hospital ward that's been closed down due to a sudden outbreak of Ebola and no one's dared to go in and take care of the bodies... That is how the cheese smells!

I am very good at imagining things.

I'll buy one of the 'good old' mouldy ones today! Boyfriend can eat the smelly one - after all, it's not to dissimilar to his football shoes and he seems strangely attached to those!

It's so pretty at this time of year!

Cheap Friends and Yummy Food

Last night was good fun - no ring on G's finger but it's not her birthday until Sunday anyway so... We went to a (our favourite, where Boyfriend and I are on first name basis with the staff as we're there so often) Japanese restaurant and had some Teppanyaki, which is where you sit around an iron griddle where the chef who's cooking your food is throwing knives and pepper-mills around and it's all very impressive.

They cook up an omelette and cut in into tiny pieces and you're supposed to catch them in your mouth as he throws them. I missed mine and then he wanted me to try again but I don't really like omelette - too eggy - so I passed. Boyfriend caught all his - vulture...

The rest of the food was lovely, scallops, tail of lobster, steak, fried rice (Boyfriend ate most of mine) vegetables etc etc. For dessert we got pancakes with ice-cream and some orangy-liqueur, which I don't like so Boyfriend and I swapped plates as he didn't get as much liqueur on his and finally a cup of coffee or green tea and B was adamant that his green tea was nothing but "warm piss" - I guess his pee comes out at a freezing temperature and I don't want to know how he knows.

It was fun seeing people again as it's been ages but...

...what really pisses me off is that a group of friends go out for a meal and it ought to have been very simple last night as the Teppanyaki menus are set, you just pick one out of 6, and they're clearly priced - then you add for whatever drinks you might have had + a bit of a tip for the staff (or not if you don't fancy it) but the other bits should be so easy. Yet, after everyone has 'paid' it never ever reaches the total sum! I don't get it! It's fairly clever for the cheap buggers to just throw a bunch of money on the table because there's no way anyone would actually count it up in between people adding to the pile. You shouldn't have to see who paid how much! It really annoys me (hence the rant) and it's not like they are poor - they're all fuggin' doctors!! Boyfriend and I paid quite a bit extra as J had to forgo his deposit and it just isn't fair for him to pay what the cheapies don't want to + I don't really think that G should have paid for her meal anyway as we were celebrating her. I just think it's really rude to short-change your friends...

That said, my haircut was a success or as Boyfriend put it; "it's like getting a new girlfriend for only £30!"

Yeah - dream on Loverboy...

Snip snip

I've cut my hair. It's quite a bit shorter than I've had it since...well, since I had short hair/growing it out. I'm really, really pleased with it!

I might put a picture up but I haven't decided yet...

Fashion Down the Drain?

I don't work (I start on Monday), which means I have a lot of time to check out different blogs and sometimes my fascination with reading unknown people's blogs scare me. Do I have tendencies of becoming a Peeping-Tom as the whole blog-thing must be a legitimate way of conducting/allowing voyeurism?

Never mind, they're obviously there to be read so back to the main story; What really strikes me is the amount of fashion blogs. I don't mind fashion blogs at all - it's nice to see that some -unlike me - have a sense of fashion. My most worn outfit the past 2 weeks is a cotton pyjamas and a pair of multicoloured woolly socks often unless I'm wearing a pair of purple slippers (I've never been to a country where it's so cold indoors). It's not something I usually wear but it was a comfy outfit when trying to recover after our holiday. I'm much better now but the 'poison' has well and truly stuck -I love my PJs!

Anyway, back to fashion blogs, again: the girls - cos it is mostly girls - take pictures of their daily outfits and that's all very nice and I appreciate that it can be a bit tricky taking your own picture although I am sure digital cameras come with a timer or whatever it is called when you place the camera somewhere, make sure there's room for you so your head won't be cut off, push a little button and then run like a crazy person to position yourself right before the....."click" - often leading to the subject looks a little haggered and not as composed as planned.

This being said, most of them stand in front of a mirror holding the camera and then they stand in a very, very odd way. They sort of bend their knees, almost having them touch so your legs get that X-shape that no one really wants. Then they often poke their arses out, making it look as if they're trying to bend down to tie their laces. And to top it off, they tilt their head as if to look a bit coy, which of course they aren't, and pout their lips in a manner that would make Mrs Beckham herself look like a novice.

So, we're left with a pose that does look very, very strange. I agree that a picture with a person standing straight "up and down" isn't always the most exciting one but at least they don't look like a long-lost cousin of Quasimodo. But maybe that's where the fashion-blogs are clever - and I'm not - they're showing the juxtaposition of fashion and odd "body-posing" for those who indeed are related to Quasimodo - leaving stupid people like me to wonder exactly "why is she standing as if she is in desperate need of an unoccupied loo?"

Perhaps all fashion blog owners have been to the same holiday resort as me?

A Toilet Ring

Last night Boyfriend and I had a "discussion". Let's just say that it had to with someone coming second to such lovely things as football, music and a certain website. Clue: I hate football! I think I my message was loud and clear because the loo was exceptionally clean this morning - but I don't know how to interpret that as he's off to football tonight.

We are going to a birthday meal tomorrow night. It's for one of Boyfriend's friend's girlfriend. She is also a doctor - I am the only one with a title other than Dr (Miss). Anyway - they are really lovely both of them although at different stages in life. He's very relaxed and doesn't want to rush into anything. She wants to get married before the age of 27 (in 2 years) and her engagement ring has to be a lot bigger than the one her sister-in-law is sporting, which is absolutely massive! She is clearly getting a bit annoyed with his laissez-faire attitude regarding their future. So a bit over a month ago her brother flew in from the States to take them both out to dinner and there ask J where it all was leading, if anywhere, and if not - let G know asap as they then would find her someone else that's suitable... Apparently J was shitting bricks at a boy's night out a while back as he would like to do it but feels it might be a bit early. I'd be very surprised if G isn't showing off a huge rock tomorrow night - she is used to getting what she wants.

Me? I got a clean loo and I think I've got to be satisfied with that...

Update: Boyfriend and I made a bet - he says "no way to J&G getting engaged within 6 months" and I say "Yes way!". If I win, he'll buy me a dachshund - if Boyfriend wins, I'll buy myself a dachshund. We shook on it before he realised that I'll win no matter what. We're such great friends though, don't you think? Betting on their future... As long as I get my doxie. I think I'll name her Daisy!

I Need A Dog

I have my eyes set on a dachshund puppy... It's won't be tomorrow or in the next few months but it has to happen. I'm even contemplating flying home for a weekend just to see Cherry - that's how dog-sick I am.

Another day in the life of Ems...

Had a killer migraine last night - had to take 2 Sumatriptans, which has never been needed before. Conked out after that so Boyfriend used the opportunity to watch Match of the Day - a horrid show that shows all games of the day shortened to about 10 minutes each, which is very sensible but it doesn't take away the fact that the show is dull as s***.

Woke up this morning with a 'normal' headache i.e. you don't contemplate cutting your own head off just to get away from the pain. Boyfriend is doing an "out of hours" shift so I decided to pack a lunchbag for him. I only managed to created more mess as I dropped a pack of 4 tubs of yoghurt on the floor.

Yoghurt everywhere - on my newly washed/ironed pyjamas and woolly socks (raggsockar) also newly washed. Not to mention that it covered a good part of the floor, which was thankfully not newly washed but I need to do it today instead of tomorrow as planned. I was not best pleased. Boyfriend ran off to "brush his teeth" - to laugh, more like it.

I might go for a walk today - good weather, no migraine, pretty foliage, clear air as traffic is down to a minimum on Sundays due to people nursing their hangovers and lack of footie games to go to. I only wish I had a little dog for company...

Organization

I need to (re-)organize my life. The flat is in a bit of a state and I don't know where to start as everytime I clear out the kitchen/livingroom, Boyfriend comes home and dumps another load of CDs, padded envelopes, letters he cant be arsed reading etc etc. I'm not any better as I could sort everything out during the day while he's working. BUT I've said from the start that I am happy to clean, wash up, do the laundry, ironing etc but I am N O T picking up after him. + I want him to take out the trash - that's not too much to ask, is it?

He does do his share but only after I've nagged him for ages and then he usually starts with the trivial stuff - placing the DVDs in alphabetical order and things like that. I don't want to have to nag him. I want it to be an equal thing. It'd be nice if he for once said: "Alright Ems, how about we spend the next 30 minutes tidying up and then we'll watch a movie?" Or just once, just once -to take on the bathroom. I've actually left it, on purpose, to see if/when he notice that it's in dire need of a clean. It's been a week. I'm still waiting. I know that I don't spit toothpaste all over the wash basin. I know this because he, himself, pointed it out a while back - "You even spit in a girly way, right down the drain. he he!"

It also makes me a tad bit nervous - I'm starting a new job on the 12th and it's going to be tiring. I'm not even sure what it is I am supposed to do! I don't want to come home and have to nag about getting the flat tidy. He says it'll all change once I start working but forgive me, I am a sceptic. He said the very same thing "it'll all work out perfectly!" when he bought a bookcase for his student room. As if his books, by magic, would position themselves on the shelves. There were more books on the floor than in that bookcase the next time I visited him... So, I'm not too hopeful about how it's all going to work out/change on the 12th.

Is it a girl thing? Fair enough as I haven't had a job and I haven't complained but again, I refuse to pick up after him! Shoudl I have tried being gay? Would that have been the answer? I've never tried but sometimes I feel it could be worth it if the flat was kept neatly by the 2 people sharing it. I kind of like being with a boy though... And perhaps I'm just complaining over something not worth complaining about? It's just tiring, that's all.

I'm done ranting...

Ratatouille

I've forgotten to say that we saw Ratatouille the night before our holiday. It was fantastic!! I was slightly worried about Boyfriend as he isn't as enthusiastic about animated movies as I am. But! He absolutely loved it! He says it's one of his absolute favourite movies this year (I couldn't say a word for a minute -that's how much it shocked me!).

I loved the little rat, Remy, soooo cute. The story was good and for once, it was more of a realistic ending rather than the perfect ones we've gotten so used to see.

You really should go see it if you haven't and I'm sure we wouldn't have been food-poisoned if Remy had cooked our food rather than that pompous French Bastard!*
* I'm also sure that it had nothing to do with him being French but that's how we refer to him when we vent our anger for getting so ill.

Eastern Promises

Viggo Mortensen is acting his clothes off in this movie, literally! He gets naked during (before) a fight in a steam room (I know!!) and it distracted a bit from the fighting which was, as Boyfriend told me, quite violent. Naomi Watts isn't bad either as the one bringing it all to light. Is it just me who thinks she is a lot prettier than she used to be?

The story line, trafficking, is relevant as we are now more aware than ever that [sex] slavery isn't something that just happens "elsewhere" or is a thing of the past.

The only thing is that I was amazed over the fact that she never once seemed to ask herself whether it was a good or a bad idea to go to someone who might have be connected to a [dead] 14-year old Russian prostitute -especially as it is fairly well known that a lot of Eastern girls are forced into said profession by not so nice people. I know I wouldn't knock on someone's door asking if they knew so and so and in what way... Hand it over to the police - that's what I say!

I really liked Eastern Promises and not just because of Mortenson's arse (or whomever it belongs to). I'd watch it again!!