Thursday, 5 May 2011

Going Crazy

I think I am a little stressed. I'm having trouble separating thoughts and discussions - I can only concentrate on one thing at a time so no multi-tasking. If I ask Boyfriend for the time I'll ask him about 4 times before I can take it in despite having listened to his answer.

There's so much to do and Baby N is super active and leaves me to no time to do anything. I'm lucky if I have time to the washing up after his meals! I also have neglected to send off the presents I've bought to my friends who've had babies... I know that they're "there" but for some reason it feels like a momentous task to get it done and I'm shying away from it. So if you're reading this (new mommies) I'm not dissing you or your babies. I am just...sorta....out of touch with reality and myself at the moment.

Baby N's suffering from Night Terrors. It's awful! The sleep depravation is one thing but the worst thing is the feeling of being an utterly and completely useless mom when I can't help him feeling better. To just stand and watch your child scream and thrash around is heart breaking. I hate it.

The Night Terrors also makes the wedding fade away. It doesn't feel as important to hunt for The Dress as it is making sure Baby N gets his naps and playtime during the day in an attempt to eliminate the Night Terrors. And even though it [the wedding] comes 2nd by choice it still instills a lot of stress and guilt for not sorting it and myself out. Oh well, I guess I'll make my second wedding picture perfect.

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