The Idiot & The Saint

In a store earlier this evening after pointing out that one of the mannequins looked a bit famished as you could count each of her ribs (what does she need ribs for?):

The Idiot aka Boyfriend: What do you think your natural weight would be?
The Saint aka Ems: Excuse me?!
The Idiot aka Boyfriend: *repeats his question*
The Saint aka Ems: You saying my weight is unnatural?
The Idiot aka Boyfriend: [shiiiit] Er - what? I wasn't saying anything. Definitely not saying anything - at all.
The Saint aka Ems: Hmm. Lucky for you that we're in a public place and that you just bought me a handbag...


Boyfriend is therefore called "The Idiot" for obvious reasons and I should be called "The Saint" for not kicking the shit out of him right there and then...

what a wanker...

Midsummer at Home

In modern Sweden, Midsummer's Eve and Midsummer's Day (Midsommarafton and Midsommardagen) are celebrated from the eve of the Friday between June19-25. It is arguably the most important holiday of the year, and one of the most uniquely Swedish in the way it is celebrated, even if it has been influenced by other countries long ago. The main celebrations take place on the Friday, and the traditional events include raising and dancing around a huge maypole. One typical dance is the frog dance. Before the maypole is raised, greens and flowers are collected and used to cover the entire pole.

Raising and dancing around a maypole (majstång or midsommarstång) is an activity that attracts families and many others. People dancing around the pole listen to traditional music and many wear traditional folk costumes. The year's first potatoes, pickled herring, sour cream, and possibly the first strawberries of the season are on the menu. Drinking songs are also important at this feast, and many drink heavily.

Because Midsummer was thought to be one of the times of the year when magic was strongest, it was considered a good night to perform rituals to look into the future. Traditionally, young people pick bouquets of seven or nine different flowers and put them under their pillow in the hope of dreaming about their future spouse. In the past it was believed that herbs picked at Midsummer were highly potent, and water from springs could bring good health. Greenery placed over houses and barns were supposed to bring good fortune and health to people and livestock; this old tradition of decorating with greens continues, even though most don't take it seriously. To decorate with greens was called att maja (to "may") and may be the origin of the word majstång, maja coming originally from the month May. Other researchers say the term came from German merchants who raised the maypole in June because the Swedish climate made it impossible to find the necessary greens and flowers in May, and continued to call it a maypole. Today, however, it is most commonly called a midsommarstång. In earlier times, small spires wrapped in greens were erected; this probably predates the maypole tradition, which is believed by many to have come from the continent in the Middle Ages. Others argue that some form of Midsummer pole occurred in Sweden during the pre-Christian times, and was a phallic fertility symbol, meant to impregnate the earth, but as there were no records from those times it cannot be proven, and this idea might just be a modern interpretation of the poles form. The earliest historical mention of the maypole in Sweden is from the Middle Ages. Midsummer was however linked to an ancient fertility festival which was adapted into St. Johans day by the church, even though it retained many pagan traditions, as the Swedes were slow to give up the old heathen customs. The connection to fertility is naturally linked to the time of year. Many young people became passionate at Midsummer, and this was accepted, probably because it resulted in more childbirths in March which was a good time for children to be born.

Midsummer is one of the only pagan holidays that are still celebrated in Europe (if not the only). In Denmark and Norway it is referred to as the eve of St. Hans but it's only in Sweden that it has kept its original name. Midsummer rivals Christmas as the most important holiday of the year due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed.

All text above has been copied and pasted from Wikipedia...

Logic According to Ems

It's so annoying when you see something you really want in an ad and when you look at "the real thing" it's not even half as nice. But. It saved me £700.

Doesn't that mean I have £700 to shop for that I wouldn't have had if I'd bought it?

...

Sometimes I just want to go AAAARRRRGH!!

But I don't and that's all there is to it.

It's sad.

Adding to the post below...

Just want to make sure that everyone understands that I'm not against low cut tops at all. Hell I've got some myself but I don't wear them to work. There's a time and place for everything and some things are better left at home. I'd feel the exact same way if one of the guys/boys/men wore really tight fitting trousers or loose shorts and nothing underneath. *shudder*

Maybe it's cos I'm getting old and things are likely to start heading south soon or perhaps I'm just a bore who think that certain things should just not happen at the office. We're not in a club or on a beach or any other place where the exposure of female or male private body parts is essential. And if that's what needs to be done to get a promotion then so be it.... I'll be happy to stay exactly where I am.

And James, you're behind a pillar - I can't see you - but rest assured; we make fun of you anyway ;)

Thoughts at work...

Background: 5th floor, open planed office. Little islands of 6 desks plotted around the whole floor. "My" team has 3 such islands... I'm by the window...

"I wonder what the bells at the cathedral are ringing for - been going on for at least 20 minutes now. Perhaps they've started a bell ringing club or something. God, how English... What's T & L laughing about? What's T doing? Shaking his head and blowing raspberries at the same time?! I don't get it... Hmmm K seem a bit wound up. If I get a call now I'm going to have to put my finger in my ear to hear the customer - he can be such a cock. Has some funny stories though. Gotta talk to S about the book she's reading. Looks like a good one. Oh. My. God!! What is C wearing?? My oh my, that is a very very low cut top... especially with a pair like hers... If I'd worn that top I'd been bare all the way down to the top of my jeans - and these jeans are quite low!! That reminds me - gotta buy a new pair. I've worn these to shreds. Awww, I like my jeans! Maybe I can keep them anyway. ...

Do I show the equivalent amount of mine? hmmm - better have a look at my green top when I get home. I wonder if Boyfriend will remember to buy some light bulbs. Probably not. That reminds me - need to pop into Boots and buy some moisturiser. I really like that tinted one... I'm so pale. If I didn't know that Boyfriend would kill me I'd go to the sunbeds. he'll have to help me with some fake tan before the wedding. Did we actually book the hotel and the ..."

Oh dear. Oh no! please don't bend down. No No NOOOO!! ...Oh phew, thought something was going to pop out for a peek. Jeez, she had me worried for a while. Ooops, gotta look away. A bit rude looking at someone's breasts, whether they're on display or not... What? What does T want now? I'd better go and see...Holy crap! I'm not even looking in that direction and I can still see a bit of nipple showing. Cover up woman! Cover up!!

...T said I looked a bit scared and why wouldn't I be? Thank God for nipples!! If it hadn't been for the fact that the fabric seems to snag on the nipples, we would have been treated (exposed) to things that ought to come with a warning. Hey I'm a Swede. I can deal with nudity but there's a time and place. Besides, now I know what a motorboat is... Well, whadd'ya know - you learn something new every single day! Oh, I really want a Mars bar..."

So Catchy

What a lovely day it has been! The weather has been great. I've managed to not get a headache and I haven't been tired despite being woken up at 4.30 by The Goose. It's just been a really happy, sunny, nice day!

yum yum

I just had the best homemade stir-fry EVER!
Go M&S!!

The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow - but not here...

Oh man, it's been one of those days that's good all in all but there are moments when you just want to rip your hair out and once that's gone you move on to the eyelashes. We're being asked to improve our numbers (well, I am) and bring down the time on the phone, which is fair enough. But. How can you make that happen when the equipment you're given to work with is nothing but shit. The fax machine is out of order and "someone might come and have a look at it today". The printer is not sorted out to print certain documents - always urgent - and of course you're in desperate need of all those pieces of shit during that call when the customer is screaming bloody murder on the other end... and we had a workshop meeting today and I don't like those.

Anyway, it's raining here and not particular warm for being June - and my parents have had 29C today and the dogs have been lying in the little garden fountain all day... No, am not jealous at all! *rolling my eyes*

Wedding

I'm so excited about the wedding Boyfriend and I are going to. It's going to be so much fun and I can't wait until I see all the girls from the hen do although I hope I won't end the evening with an ass on my bruise.*

My dress is so pretty and the only thing I need to find is a matching handbag. I'm sure that one of the 50 I already have would be perfectly fine but I'd like a new one... or as Patsy in Ab Fab would say; "You can never have enough hats, gloves and shoes..."


* you can read about my hen do escapades here

Smells

I'm sure you have experienced it too - smells that brings you back to your childhood or to a time that that particular smell represents. My sister used to collect erasers and some of them had a very distinct smell (nice) and every now and then I smell something that makes me remember the box she kept them all in and how the smell "exploded" when the box was opened...

Then there are the not so nice smells that you really wish you wouldn't remember. 7,5 years ago when I first came to Sheffield to study me and my friends got on to the same tram as a homeless girl and she really didn't smell very nice and it was such a strong dirty smell that I almost threw up. For days/weeks I walked around town looking around to see if she was next to me because I could swear I could smell the very same thing again. And of course I never saw her again...

And the best of them all - the smell of horses. That is the one thing I can pick out from an impressive distance. I can smell them across town way before they come anywhere near me. Boyfriend sometimes accuses me of hallucinating but 15 minutes later I go "There they are!!" and sure enough, the [police] horses will be passing by.

I dream of the way Maja used to smell. She'd be grazing or sleeping and I just leaned on her and we could happily hang out like that for hours on end and all the while I just "sniffed" her. That is one of the things I struggle coping with now that she is gone - not the way she smelled but the fact that I'll never experience it again. Every time I came back from travels or Uni I didn't feel properly "at home" until I could smell Maja and all I can do now is remember. It's sad that it's a thing of the past rather than the present but at least it brings back good memories...

They should pay me for this...

I think this ad is brilliant and I laugh out loud
no matter how many times I see it.

It's as if they've studied Boyfriend and me

on an ordinary day*.

*apart from the mascara wand in the guy's eye but I might use it one day...

Doomsday

I've got nothing to do and I don't fancy putting mustard in a shoe (old rhyme from 4th year) so I'm just going to dry my hair, put my face on and then head off to Cineworld to watch the above mentioned film... It sounds like an old-fashioned doomsday movie (Mad Max etc) + it's by the guy who scared the bejeezus out of me with his The Descent, and I'm hoping to get a bit of control back in my life and what's better than going straight to the source (apart from the Descent itself)

Will let you know what it is like...

UPDATE: I liiiiked it! A lot of everything that should be in an apocalypse-movie. Although I don't understand why some of them turned to cannibalism when there were thousands of cows just a little bit further away... Oh well, it got a bit more interesting this way I guess.