Thursday, 14 April 2011

Love and Fear are my companions

Some years ago I was asked by a reporter from the Uni radio* what, if anything, I was frightened of. Those who have been following this blog will know that the movie The Descent scared the living daylight out of me, so I said "the creatures from The Descent". The guy looked a little taken aback by my answer but ...

And now I am happy (?) to say that the answer has been totally different for the last 21 months, and even more so 2 nights ago. You see, Baby N (the love of my life) was very unsettled and kept waking up so finally I brought him downstairs. He was warm, not overly so but still warm so we tried to cool him down. And then, all of a sudden, his lips and right cheek just swelled up. Just like that!

The mommy-heart went into overdrive and I just held him close, rocking back and forth while we tried to figure out what it was.** His breathing was fine so we decided to stay at home rather than upsetting him further by going to the A&E. Boyfriend (a GP) was cool, calm and collected - all the while I was screaming on the inside - and sure enough, the swelling disappeared after a while. But I was not willing to let go of Baby N so he came to bed with us and slept right next to me while I kept on feeling his face, listening to his breathing and making sure he was comfortable all night.

Now, all those creatures in The Descent have disappeared into oblivion and they're not what scares me the most.

A mother's worst nightmare does not bear thinking about.

* I must have looked young enough to be a student, or dumb enough to still be one - take your pick...
** Me: Oh My God, Boyfriend!Do something!! You're the Doctor! What else are you good for?? DO SOMETHING FOR F's SAKE!!
Boyfriend: Just calm down, Ems. His breathing is fine and he's relaxed with you. Calm down or you'll upset him.
Me: Omigodomigod omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod....

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