Saturday, 30 October 2010

Braindead Blonde

Dementia is nothing to make fun of but I must have the start of some kind of it or it's "just" a remnant from the shingles. I forget everything and it's not just a little bit here and a little bit there. It's literally e v e r y t h i n g !

Did I close the garage door? Where did I put my money/book/whatever and did I eat or was that Baby N? I go into a store to buy a magazine and I come out with some cauliflower.

I was halfway into town when I realised I'd forgotten Baby N's changing-/feed bag. So got angry and thought "sod it, I'll just buy everything new!". Yeah, with what money?! My money was also in the changing bag so it was just to get off, take a bus back home, get the bag and catch a new bus into town.

Earlier today I looked at some stuff for Baby N, thinking "really good stuff that!". Getting home I realised that I was supposed to actually buy the stuff. *thud thud thud* was the sound of my head hitting the kitchen counter...

The worst thing is that I get really depressed about being so forgetful. It really gets to me in a way I have trouble understanding. I try to not be affected but my whole body and mind seems to cling on to the failure that it actually is. And poor Boyfriend gets the raw deal as it's him I shout at for not helping me remember... he's such a good guy and he just takes it. I love him and he shouldn't have to put up with me like this and it makes me even angrier at myself.

WHEN will this crap be gone?

1 comment:

Laura said...

Awww, I understand how horrible that is! POTS (my wacky condition) affects my memory too and it can be incredibly frustrating and also leads to me being unable to trust myself and having to rely on others to help me remember stuff!