In Which There's a 2nd Coming

No, Jesus is not back - as far as I know- but then I don't suppose I'm on his mailing list either so wouldn't be the first to know. Miss E's coming to town!!

Miss E was one of the girls I came to the UK with and I may have moved across but Miss E has not been back to this particular city since December -00. She won't get here until next Friday so I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here but we'll go shopping and do all kinds of stuff. It'll be great.

This city has changed so much since -00 and as I've seen those changes bit by bit, I probably don't "see" it. If you know what I mean. But the city isn't the only thing that's changed - so have I. I'm a bit softer*, nicer and ... older. There won't be any staying out all night with strange boys and coming back to the flat for a telling off by the other girls. And it's not because I'm with Boyfriend - it'd most likely be borderline creepy if I did - I'm a woman in her 30's now. It'd would be wrong to hook up with a not yet 19 year old... Christ almighty. I am old!

Oh well, that's what youth is for and the rest of the life is to look back and either go "Awwww" or "Eeeewww". I'm not sure what Uni here is for Miss E though but I am definitely hoping this time it'll be "Awww". And how can it not be? We're older, got better taste in a lot of things and as we're working we can spend loads more money on shopping without having to live on noodles and water for the rest of the month. Yeah, growing older is gooooooood!



*Not just in temper but also in body. Yuck.

In which I laughed

As Berlusconi* declared that rapes will never cease as women are simply too beautiful,** I think I have found the perfect accessory for all women. Just pop it in the bag when going out and it can double up as a new kind of pet although I'd save the rabid ones for the rapists.


* At this I did not laugh - he is such a cock.
**And just how did you meet Mrs Berlusconi? Was her "no" not loud enough?

In Which I Am Scared

I used to love horror movies. No, strike that. I used to L O V E horror movies and then I watched The Descent and that was it. I was frightened sh**less and since then I've been less enthusiastic. Don't get me wrong, I've still had the longing to watch something scary but the idea makes my heart race, sweat to break out and I keep looking over my shoulder to make sure there's nothing there and ... I always make sure I have an escaperoute planned. All things that verge on being slightly paranoid.

But. I am determined to get back to the stuff that makes me jump and all that comes with a good horror movie - apart from the need of a good shrink afterwards - and I try as best I can. Andyet I constantly fail.

Zavvis has gone into administration so they're selling their stock dirt cheap. Books, vinyl, DVDs, CDs etc etc. Yesterday I had another look arounf and bought the whole series of "Planet Earth" for only £9!! Whilst walking around I came to the horror section. I ignored the "D" section as I know from previous experience that I'll start hyperventilating. Anyway, I found a DVD that looked promising and subsequently bought it and then I spent all night having nightmares and they were a lot worse than a picture of Amy Winehouse in her shorts.

Great, just great! I've got the darned thing in my flat. It causes me nightmares and Boyfriend is on nights. It's always night in the horror movies and it's almost night here. Luckily, we live on the 1st floor so not too big a drop out of the window if needs be.

In Which There Are No Words

In Which There Is Extravagance

I bought a new bag* today. I actually saw it 2 days ago and loved it but as it was before pay day I didn't really feel that I could afford it so I left it at that. Today (1 day after pay day) I, against my better judgement I looked to see if it was still there. IT WAS! To me, that's faith. If I hadn't been supposed to have it, it wouldn't have been there but it was so ... I can't go against faith, can I?!
It was a bargain though as the RRP is £289 and that is not what I paid. Yeay!!

*It is a Badgley Mischka

In Which Obama IS The President

I have to say that the First Lady is stunning!

In Which I Despair

The following conversation took place at work today - I must admit I did not hear the beginning properly hence the blank bits but the 'fun' (?) part came later.

S: "...I've been asked to be a Godmother..."
M: "...christening..."
S: "...yes..."
M: " ...it won't be in a church cos they're not Christians."
Me: "sorry? They're not Christians?!"
S:.......
M: "They're not Christian, they're Catholics.
Me:"yeah, they're Christians"
M:*snottily* "It's not a christening, they're C a t h o l i c s so it won't be in a Christian church."
Me:"Call it baptism, christening - not all that different, really. Catholics are Christians!"
M: "No. Protestants are Christians."
Me: Are you joking?! Catholicism is built on Christianity. Their whole faith is based on Jesus Christ, Son of God. They're Christians."
M: "No. They're not Church of England
Bubbles: "OF COURSE THEY ARE CHRISTIANS! All of England used to be Catholic but it all changed when Henry VIII......."
M: "Oh"
Me: *muttering* "What the fuck did you think they were? So stupid."

I just can't believe it. Fair enough if you don't know the tiny details of each religion or faith but for fucks sake!!

UPDATE: I know I should let it go but there's one thing that's been bugging me. The stupid girl argued with me about something I studied at Uni and I taught it at high school (miss my students). I can't vouch for the quality of my teaching but I'd fucking D I E if my students failed to pinpoint Catholicism as a Christian faith. It really vexes me.

In Which I Need Relief

I know that I am, in many ways, better off than a lot of people. I have [fairly] good economy, lovely Boyfriend and family, a job etc etc. And I complain, moan and bitch about things that are trivial for the most part. I must say, though, that there is one thing I am allowed to properly complain, moan and bitch about and that is the constant headaches I have.

The frustration that comes with it is overwhelming and especially when you know that the only proper remedy would be to cut my head off and that is not really an option. Although I must say I have seriously thought of it a couple of times. I mean, how bad can it be?

Tonight, I will go to bed and hope that it'll have passed by the time Boyfriend wants to be 'buzzed' in or he may just have to stay outside for the rest of the night. Headache I may have - sympathy I have not.*

*at least not at 3am and with a splitting headache.

In Which I Am Slightly Annoyed

So, digital TV was to be soooo much better and we had to get it. Better my arse! How about the picture freezing up all the time. The Box stops working. It takes 7 minutes (am not joking) to get it to work again, after which it may very well freeze a couple of more times. If I watch a program, I'll probably miss half of it - might as well buy the dvd.

I do not have the patience or temper for this kind of stuff. I am this close [---------] to flipping out, scream, kick and break the horrible, useless piece of crap in tiny, tiny pieces. What the hell was wrong with the metal antenn? Huh? Huh?? The picture might have been shit but at least it didn't fucking freeze!

Breeeeeathe....

In Which There Are Gay Characters

It seems as if there's a hysteria over 'outing' people, fictional characters, animals and who knows what else. I'm not opposed to people being gay, I don't care. Love is Love.

You like men? I like men. You like women? I like women albeit in a non-sexual way. Or does it count that I find some women absolutely stunning? In fact, I adore Sandra Bullock - she seems really nice and she's pretty. I think Ashley Cole was an absolute t*t for cheating on Cheryl Cole. I sure as hell wouldn't have cheated on such a gorgeous girl - and she too seems to be really lovely. But does it make me gay? Well, if all women looked like Sandra Bullock, Cheryl Cole and Mila Kunis, I probably would be...

As we seem to have outed everything and everyone that could be outed- we are turning our focus on various fictional characters. Moomin, Teletubbies, TinTin* etc etc. Maybe they were created to be gay and maybe they weren't. JK Rowling said Dumbledore's gay - but would we ever take a known gay character and analyse him/her and decide that certain traits are definitely 'straight' and created lengthy articles about it? How about The Wire's Omar Little? And moving on to 'real' people; I'm absolutely certain Portia Di Rossi is faking it, is she not just so straight-looking?**

I know, it doesn't do them any harm - they're fictional characters - and so what if they are gay? But if we are analysing fictional character's sexual preferences, why stick to cartoons? what about all fictional characters? There are plenty of characters that would seem 'gay' or in fact, whatever label you'd like to put on them, if only you analysed them long and hard enough. We all have traits that could be considered as 'gay'. I used to have short hair, did lots of sports, outspoken - yep, I was gay. But it all sort of disappeared when my hair grew longer and I stopped playing handball. I am now a happy heterosexual individual all thanks to my slow but steadily producing hair follicles.***

Seriously, who gives a flying rat's arse if I am gay? If TinTin is gay or if Jesus was? He did, after all, not marry, surrounded himself with male disciples, had a foot fetish and he had long hair and wore dress-like clothing, assuming most paintings are accurate. Ok, I'm sure loads of Christians might have something to say about that but in all fairness, a lot of fictional characters have been outed by various Christian congregations. 'Don't throw stones in a glasshouse' and all that comes to mind...

Maybe we should just read and read for the sake of enjoyment. Will I forbid my children to read Moomin, TinTin or Harry Potter because there are gay characters in it? No, most certainly not - but I do have a thing about brunettes - no books with brown-haired people. That's just wrong on so many levels.****


*Maybe TinTin just likes living with his uncle in a castle, hanging out with a butch captain and very bossy opera singer and maybe, just maybe he just happens to like small terriers? Did you ever think of that, huh?
**This is sarcasm
***This is also sarcasm
****Again

In Which I ...

In Which I Saw Her Age

When I went home over Christmas I went to see my grandmother everyday, which is something I've always done and I like it. Sometimes we don't say anything, we just sit there and read a magazine each. It's nice. Being away for such long periods makes it difficult to see Grandmother as it's so noticeable that she's getting older - she's 91,5. G-mother has always been an avid reader and up to date with news from all over the world. She's nice and I love her.

On this particular day GM had received a Christmas present from my uncle - a book by an author (Peter Englund) I've read a couple of books by but never been too fond of. GM declared:

GM: "Oh, I haven't read this book and this will be nice now that he's won the Nobel prize.
Me: "The Nobel prize? When?
thinking: My God I am seriously out of touch... Gotta read up on Swedish events.
GM: "Oh yeah. This year. The Peace Prize.
Me: "The Peace Prize? "
thinking: I have to stop repeating what she says.
Me: He's an author. Don't you mean the Literature Prize?
thinking: Who won the different prizes this year? Can I only remember the HIV-dude?
GM:"No, the Peace Prize"
Me: "Oh alright. I didn't know that."
GM: "You mustn't forget to read the news."
Me: "No, I won't."
thinking: This does not add up at all. What the F*** has Englund done for peace? Doesn't he write about Swedish history, Kings and Queens 'olden days' war and peace?? Never mind. But good for him.

I decided not to pursue it but driving home I remembered that Englund has been elected secretary of the Prize committee. It didn't make me feel happy that I hadn't lost all touch in regards to Swedish news and events. I felt sad because I'd just seen another proof that my Grandmother was getting old, and not just in age. It also dawned on me that there are 91 years between Grandmother and Niece. Almost a decade. In the midst of feeling sad about GM ageing, I was happy that she's still around, muddled up or not.

In Which a New Year Has Begun

It is the third day of 2009 and so far everything has been ok. More or less. But as I am trying (the operative word is definitely 'trying') to be a happier, more relaxed person, I will not vent that particular frustration here.

At this given moment in time I am watching Thriller in Manila (Ali vs Frazier). Boyfriend begged to see it and as I don't mind boxing I thought fair enough. It's only been going for 20 minutes but already I am flabbergasted by Ali's behaviour towards Frazier. I know, the hype before the game and all that, but Ali was properly n a s t y in the sense of calling Frazier "Uncle Tom", "gorilla" for socializing with white people, and in interviews, saying that he was inferior as a man. Today, Ali is a nation's hero. Frazier is largely forgotten. You may say there are other reasons for that but still. I don't like it. Ali may have won the fight in Manila but if you can't behave properly then you don't play fair and that is what you should be judged for, no matter the medals, belts and name. So shame on you Mr Ali. But Frazier looks good and has his health. I'd hate to use the word Karma but... (Ms Jade Goody also falls into that particular category)

And as I don't want Karma to happen to me - at least not the bad kind - I will try to be a nicer person this year. To everyone. Smile more. R e l a x. R e l a x. R e l a x. And as the new year is still 'new' I'd better get going becoming a better, happier version of me as there are quite a few things I need to do.

smile