Boyfriend vs Mr Cicada

I'll write about Tuscany in any order I like and I'll start with our very last night at the hotel. So gather ye around and I'll tell you how I almost peed my pants.

Boyfriend and I had finished packing - me swearing quite a bit as I had to get all my new purchases - Oh my new shoes! My new shoes! - to fit in my suitcase along with all the "old" stuff. Once done we went to bed, Boyfriend thought about something I probably don't want to know and I was thinking of my new shoes and jumpers... God, they're nice.

Anyway. All of a sudden there was this really, really loud noise that sounded exactly like the Cicada that apparently lived on the balcony and made it impossible to have the door open at night. But. This time the sound was soooo much louder - shrilling. At first I wanted to ignore it but after 2 more minutes I realised it'd drive me crazy if we didn't find out what it was. So up I got.

The Bathroom! The shrilling, loud volume made me suspect that it came from our bathroom. I checked it. Nothing there. Sound stopped. I got into bed. Sound started. I got up, again, went into the bathroom and sure enough the sound was coming from in there but where?! I called for Boyfriend as I wanted to fix whatever the hell it was as I now also needed the loo...desperately.

Boyfriend told me to move the bin and - ta ta taaaam - there it was. A fuggin' Cicada. Huge! 2 inches long and just ... big. Resourceful as always I decided that we could get it out by placing a plastic cup over it and slide a piece of paper underneath it. When I held the cup I started thinking of my Cicada knowledge. Not a lot of knowledge there and it dawned on me that they might be able to fly!

What if this huge, noisy thing would fly at me when I got close to it with the plastic cup? In my state of needing the loo so badly?! I knew I'd freak and probably wet myself right there and then. Not a very appealing thing to do right in from of your Boyfriend. What to do?

I knew exactly what to do. I handed the cup over to Boyfriend. I mean, that's the reason we have boyfriends, right? Anyway, Boyfriend scooped the darned thing and proceeded to move across the room towards the balcony [to drop it at the neighbours balcony]. He stepped out and shot back in again hissing " the neighbours are out there, they just saw me in my boxers!"

As I already was in a giddy, pee-needy state, this was almost too much and I had to RUN to the bathroom cross-legged and I managed to get there just in time... (must remember to do more pelvic floor exercises!) I was knackered after all the commotion and as I was just about to fall asleep Boyfriend whispered; "I was scared it'd fly at me and I'd shriek like a girl and wet myself in front of you..."

Whadd'ya know? here's the big monster...