In and Under the Bed With Ems

I sometimes ponder over the impact of things, or objects rather than things, and how our perception of an object can change from one moment to another. Or even how an object changes size from day to day. My arse is one of those things but I'll leave that for some other time and this time I'll stick to -

Our bed. I don't know what size it is apart from not being a King Size, maybe it is a Queen sized bed. It's a lot bigger than the one I have at home and fair enough - there's two of us now for which it caters exceptionally well. But sometimes it feels awfully small. Such instances are for example;

1) when Boyfriend's been out drinking with his mates and he comes home, falls asleep and somehow physically manages to snore in a way that makes you think you're sleeping with an ogre or a horrible, snarling, snotty orc. God, how I hate the "beer-snore"! On the other hand, it leaves me somewhat entertained in coming up with painful ways to make him roll over to his side. If you want a reliable trick: the nipple-pinch works a treat to get them to move and hopefully they won't remember it i the morning!

moving on...

2) when Boyfriend's sleeping heavily (without beer) and moves closer onto my side - for whatever reason - and I end up balancing on the edge of the bed at the same time as trying to move my pillow away from his reach so he can't drool on it. He's quite the drooler and I have therefore had to mark my pillow so I won't use his. Eurgh! He really ought to see someone about that.

But then there are moments when I feel the bed is way too big and those moments can be; 1) when Boyfriend's working nights and I'm left all alone in that huge bed. 2) when I'm standing before the task (as I will be tomorrow) of tidying up under it!

The space! I am acutely aware of the fact that I've been doing the kind of cleaning - usually before Boyfriend's parents are to visit - where you just kick loads of s*** under the bed and makes sure that the bedspread covers the gap between the bed and the floor. It's a type of cleaning I excel at.

The amount of junk that I'll find there is almost too unbearable to think of. I might have to have Boyfriend on call to send out a rescue team. Imagine the filth, dust and God only knows what else is rotting away under there! Sadly, it has to be done and I've appointed tomorrow to be The Day.

Pray for my safe return...