Useless knowledge

Jean d'Arc was burned at stake in Rouen France at the age of 19 on January 1st, 1431

Her year couldn't have started on a worse note but I'm sure she felt better about it when January 1st (in 1920) became Jean d'Arc day.

winebar last night...

Must drink water

mouth so dry

head hurts

Death is imminent...

A Flirt? Moi? No, I'm just being friendly!

I have changed a lot since my first visit to the United Kingdom, land of the Brits, football, beer and chicken tikka. My habit of speaking my mind loud and clear is no longer as fiercely noticeable. The honesty we Swedes speak with is not always the best approach when meeting people from other countries. We'll be considered rude, albeit charmingly rude, and as a girl you'll be considered to be very forward and might even be seen as flirtatious.

When me and my fellow students were sent here we painted the town red. Bright red. There were rumours about us even before we had done anything that could possibly be seen as valid gossip. "Oooh, we've heard about you. 5 Swedish girls living in a flat. Together!" Yeah, that's a shocker!

And as we all know, Swedes (and girls in particular) have a tendency to strip down to bare minimum and give each other Swedish Massages (I still don't know what that is!) and performing different flexible gymnastic moves in skimpy knickers.

I hate to disappoint those of you who have been enjoying such fantasies and imagery. It did not happen. Not in our flat anyway...

Despite the lack of lubed up massages - we had an awesome time. Our Uni back home didn't really care what we were doing so we (or perhaps just me) chose courses that were dead easy and even one that I'd basically done before. So with only 2,5 hours required Uni-time per week, we shopped. Clothes. Stuff. Videos. Books. You name it - we shopped it. What I spent most of my money on was - tam ta taaaam - booze. + of course everything else that comes with spending the evenings at various places, clubs and whatsits.

So back to the flirtatious bit. We were at this club, close to the flat, and being used to Swedish uni pub and just being polite to non-smokers, I went outside to smoke (I only smoked when partying which at that time happened to be basically every night) and when standing there freezing my frontbumps off I had a chat with the bouncers. They were fun and it just seemed foolish to stand there and not say anything for 10 minutes or so - again; being polite! + we'd seen them so many times as we lived literally 1 minute away.

Mr Big Bouncer had an awesome laugh (think Michael Clarke Duncan) and Mr Short Steroid Bouncer thought he was the man. Talking and laughing is, in my book, just a normal conversation - and I admit I was a bit intoxicated but that's often the case when going out, isn't it? - but to them I was the biggest flirt e v e r! And it was "so obvious" that I was out to get into the sack with Mr. SSB! Eh, hello? We're having a conversation while I was out for a smoke, nothing more, nothing less. And I'm telling you - I wouldn't have needed to spend money on a cab as he so gallantly offered to drive me back "afterwards"... Oh Jeez. The things we happy, friendly Swedes have to put up with...

Thankfully my friends came out to get me and simply told Mr BB and Mr SSB that I was not a flirt at all and that we were all going home together. 5 going out, 5 coming home. No more, no less. Thank you very much.

There have been other times since then when I have been deemed a hopeless flirt by some of the Brits I've come to know but that'll have to wait till next time or the one after that. I have things to do - I am going to stand in front of the mirror and practice on being a hopeless-but-denying-it-flirt...

Back in Sheffers...

Spent the weekend at my "in-laws" up in Cumbria. Weather could have been nicer but we had a stroll into town and I had my first ever Cornish Pasty! I chose the veggie one and it was really nice. Dead unhealthy with all the pastry and then carb and whatsits inside but nice. Boyfriend had one with Steak & Ale and that was even nicer but I'm trying to stay off meat. It's not like I have a reason not to eat meat. I'm not allergic to eat, it doesn't me my joints ache and it's not for animal reasons either (ok, maybe a bit). I've just got it into my head that i don't like/want meat for the time being.

So, we went up to the Lake District on Saturday. Boyfriend drove all the way and at one point he felt dizzy and thought he might have had a mini stroke but it was just gum on his shoe...?!
Doctors are weird!

Anyway, haven't seen his sister for ages and she's pregnant. It is a bit upsetting when someone who's pregnant is wearing a smaller size even though they're tiny people in an un-pregnant state. I seriously need to lose some weight. It's ridiculous!

As it was a bank holiday yesterday, we had an extra "weekend-day" and it was great. We popped into IKEA on our way home and bought some stuff, nothing in particular. I was v. restrained and didn't go overboard - all I said that we needed to buy was some hangers and some more big tumblers. That's all. Boyfriend found a rug he liked that ended up finding its way into our cart.

It was nice to see the cooling towers when getting closer to good ol' Sheffers. It means you're home! It's been a nice weekend but it's always nicer to be in your own flat where you can lounge around in PJs for as long as you want to. Now that is nice!

I'm not hungover but..

Water is good. It tastes so niiice! It sort of makes the furriness on my tongue disappear...

I have my glass of water, a Twix and Animal Park is on BBC1 - it's a good way to start the day after the night before...

I've just come back from a night of gossiping with E (penthouse) and we shared 2 bottles of wine. I am tired now.

Cured! (for now)

The retail therapy worked!! I have now purchased 2 new tops. One green, shortsleeved, with a bit of silver around the sleeves and the neckline which is sort of straight but extends towards the shoulders - does that make any sense? It's nice anyway. The other top is a black cardigan with lovely, lovely sleeves. I had my eye on a pair of jeans as well but no - they were nice but not on me. I also bought a t-shirt and a nice blue knitted top for Boyfriend. The blue top was on sale, £3, and could be good for chilly summer evenings.

After that I had a walk into my favourite charity shop and they had a great deal on: 4 paperbacks for £1 only! Great! I have now extended my collection of books [under the bed]. 3 Dick Francis and the rest is a mix of all sorts. They will, however, be returned once I've read them.

Right'o, I'm off.

I don't think I find shopping fun anymore...

Gasp!

I'm ill. I must be very ill.

I need retail therapy.

Sometimes...

...I wish that I would think before I speak or offer to do something. I asked Boyfriend this morning -when he came back after working night - if he'd like something nice, for example, lasagne for dinner. "Oh Yes, please!" he said and that's when it hit me:

I don't fancy lasagne at all. I don't fancy making it, and I don't fancy eating a meat-lasagne. Darn it! I should have offered to make a vegetable casserole or something. But he didn't want that, he wanted meat. So I had to go and buy some meat.

And as if that wasn't bad enough.... I was hounded by people begging for different charities or other things. "No, I don't want to sponsor your shoppingtrip to Mozambique. Hey, are those sunglasses Chanel?" "No, I don't need to plant a tree to pay for my bad habits - I have already planted s**tloads of trees. You tend to do that when your parents own a forest and you need to help out as they pay your horse's vet bills - and you give yourself a pat on the back after having planted a tree? Try planting 1000 and see how you like that. Go breathe behind a diesel truck... you smelly Eco-girl!" "Save the children - fair enough - but I already sponsor the Swedish branch with loads of money each year. Whadd'ya say? It's unfair to the British branch?! You'd better go and save yourself or you will have your ass kicked so hard that your mom will find herself pregnant again! Prick"

Now, I didn't say those things but I thought them as I smiled politely and said "Thanks but no thanks" through gritted teeth. I am not a rude person but I do have a very vivid imagination and it amuses me to see all my little thoughts take shape in my head. I guess it wasn't too bad after all, it gave me a spring in my step all the way home.

Dear Lord, I need a therapist!

To Rediscover Golden Oldies

God, do I love youtube or what!

Boyfriend is working nights at the moment which means #1: I'm all alone in the evenings with no one to talk to, #2: I'm all alone in the evenings with no one to talk to and the computer is unoccupied so....

I'm on youtube, searching for all the old songs/artists I used to listen to when I was younger - which gives me quite a few years to go on. Tonight I've come across Anouk "Nobody's Wife". I had totally forgotten about it but it's still as good as it was then (I was at Uni). Lil Kim is another favourite but many thought I was weird for liking her as she's a bit rude. Well, I wasn't too bothered about it then and I am most certainly not bothered about it now. My absolute favourite Lil Kim song is "How many licks?". It gets better and better. I think I'll try and get the chorus for my mobile. Brilliant!

The night is young so I'm sure Ill find more songs that I'd forgotten. It's not a bad to spend a night - it brings back memories!

How Do I Love Thee?
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

What do you mean "no vacancy"?

Going to Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Zodiac

Saw it today. It was very long. In real life, this case ran from 1967 to late 90's. It felt as if the film was shot in real time...

I'm not saying it was bad - I'm just saying that it wasn't very good. I think "Pirates..." would/could have been the better choice. Johnny Depp as a pirate - yum yum, I'd let him board my ship any day...

Right'o I'm off to Bedfordshire. Good night, sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!

Snake in a dream

I had a dream last night that I don't know how to interpret. The background of it all is probably a tv-show I watched on Animal Planet (the best channel e v e r!) last time I was at home.

Anyway, I was being chased by a Black Mamba - so i assume I was somewhere where they reside - and it was actually quite scary as the darned thing was really quick. I remember shouting to the others --in the dream-- that BMs are able to slither at a pace of 20 km/h (impressive), so they'd better get a move on. Everywhere I went/ran to there was another [the same?] snake to continue its pursuit. Knackering, especially as I am so out of shape at the moment! I don't know how it all ended but it was a strange dream.

I'm not someone who knows a lot about snakes but I do remember that tv-show very vividly as I found it a bit unsettling that BM have a reputation for being aggressive and territorial so rather than trying to hide when there are people about, they're infamous for not doing so + they don't warn before they strike (such as a rattlesnake) and there have even been events when the BM has sought out the human...

Black Mambas are very beautiful in all their scariness and it would be a frightful experience to come across one in the sweltering heat and then trying to outrun it? Nah, I'd rather watch one on telly and let other people do the outrunning.

Early summer plans

I have booked yet another flight back to Sviiden. This time to fly all the way to östersund and spend some time with my girls and to make sure I'm there for their graduation. I especially miss that particular year as we "started" at the same time and hopefully they've learnt as much of me as I from them. They're awesome!

+ I get to meet up with A&P, I think A is one of the people I miss the most -She's a great friend. A and I met at Uni and got along really well from the start and it was just pure coincidence that I got a job at her old school and that she joined me a year later. That's luck for you. Mind you, she joined a group of people that was already awesome and she just fit in really well with Tigge, me and the other "cool-ish" teachers. Or what do you say, Tigge? It's impossible for it be the as fun nowadays as when we were there... We introduced proper humour to the northerners!

Anyway, after I've been there to say my good-byes and all that, I'm off home to be present on my brother's graduation. When all that's been taken care of, I'll be staying in Sweden for a couple of weeks before celebrating my dad's 60th birthday at a secret location... and 4 days after that it's my grandmother's turn to be pampered. She'll be 90 and still going [fairly] strong.

Once all these celebratory feasts are over and I am ready for a vacation, I'll jetting back to Sheffield soon after to spend summer with Boyfriend.

Doesn't sound too bad, eh? I just hope I'll have the chance to spend some quality time at Mellbystrand, lapping up some sun as well as dipping into the sea. Now, that's summer!

What are your plans?

Inside these walls

I have not been out of the apartment today. The weather's been quite bad and I didn't really fancy putting make-up on so...

Btw, my white orchid has got 29 flowers!! I am sooo proud!

See, what happens when I don't have an animal to take care of? (Boyfriend doesn't count although God knows he's hairy enough...)

I need a dog - or a puffer-fish!

Bad day gets worse

As if waking up after last night's joke wasn't bad enough - here's what made my day absolutely S U C K!

I've chipped my front tooth!

Great!

Absolutely F-ing Wonderful!

ESC

1. What a joke!
2. Rubbish show.
3. YLE, hmmpf!
4. The Voting: I am not surprised. All the entries from the West ended up in the bottom of the list or not being allowed to compete in the finals at all.
   
5. The Winner #1: OH MFG! So bad it wasn't even funny. That girl describes the word 'butch' better than anything/anyone else! When she walked down to the audience and gestured for someone to give her a flag; Oh dear, I wouldn't have dared not to...
   
6. The Winner #2: I could not believe it when I realised that they were doing the Serbian Nationalist "sign" after winning. I guess we know what they think of the war. Disgrace!
   

I am an avid fan of the ESC and have been since I was a wee lass but this is it for me. I do not think I'll be watching it ever again. It's all about politics. I didn't mind that Greece and Cyprus always gave each other 12 points or that France and the UK gave bare minimum, that was fun. This is a joke that leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

Happiness

Happiness. It's such a nice word but what does it mean? Does it mean lots and lots of money? Perhaps. Does it mean having a job that you like? Perhaps. What about friends and family? Surely that ought to mean a lot. Does happiness mean waking up next to Mr. Snore Machine after yet another sleep deprived night and still think "I love him so much!" or is it simply enough to be able to refrain oneself from strangling said person with his own tongue? Well, the latter is definitely happiness for him.

No, he's not that bad, and I don't really mind him snoring. It excuses the slight kick, the nipple pinch and finally the somewhat more violent pushing to get him to turn on his side and those sort of opportunities don't really come along all too often.

To add on to why he isn't all that bad and provides me with happiness (cheesy) is that he has agreed to sit down and watch/listen to ESC tomorrow. It goes against everything he believes in but he's doing it for me... Awww, ain't love grand?

Headache

Why have I got a headache? I'll be the first to admit that I didn't think I had enough "up there" to cause pain. It's ridiculous and I want it gone but after having chomped on 1000mg paracetamol and 400mg ibuprofen and it's still not getting better -well, I can safely assume that it'll stay for the rest of the day/evening/night.

And before anyone starts lecturing me on the amount of painkillers I've been shoving down my throat: It's been ok'd by a professional. And for those who want to know more about headaches -Enjoy
(picture found on www.famc.org)

Tomato? No thanks, I'm a non-medic vegetarian...

This past weekend when I was hauling my arse up and down the Main Street during the market I encountered yet another person that left me giggling and bewildered.

I was standing by one of the counters that sold marinated olives, tomatoes and various Olive oil bottles, and to be honest; I was practically drooling over all the yum yums. I know, it's not attractive and also not something a beautiful size 0 would do but since I'm neither - never mind and a little saliva has never killed anyone. I think.

I was standing there when this guy who was, judging by his accent, a local lad. I listened in because of his inability to pronounce "t" and it is something I find...interesting. Well, not inability as such, I am sure he's capable but as I said some parts of this city clearly find it to be a waste of time pronouncing certain letters when communicating.

Anyway, he goes "Wha' sor' of mea' is dah'? Neve' saw no'ing like i' bfor'."*

I think; "Jeez" and "Are you kidding me?" and not to mention; "I have got to move back to civilisation, fast!"

The guy is pointing towards sun-dried tomatoes! Despite the container being clearly labelled and that nothing else remotely resembles meat of any sort, this guy is convinced that it is in fact some weird foreign meat until the man selling it kindly points out that is is not meat but tomatoes and then offer the guy to try it. The guy is not amused and says that he'd "never fockin' ea' dah' to save 'is fockin' laif..."** He shudders a bit as if to emphasise how repulsing he find the offer and walks off.

I walk the other way, giggling to myself. The giggling is probably some kind of reaction of disbelief. Would I be as equally paranoid and thinking that people would try to get me to eat weird things by saying it's a tomato or celery? Gosh, I hope not and I do think that the possibility of that guy trying sun-dried tomatoes with his baked beans on toast is very slim. In fact, I think an ice-lolly has a better chance of surviving the Dakar Rally on the back of a bike. Or me at a dinner full of medics, although I wouldn't melt, I'd carve my heart out with my glasses before the end of the first speech... "And then I noticed that the other attending had written medulla oblongata with one 'l' in this poor chaps journal...harf harf harf!! Cheers to Doctors passing their GCSE's in English, harf harf harf!"

God, please give me more friends who are not medics but who are aware of sun-dried tomatoes. I promise I'll be good, no more swearing, no more taking your name in vain and no premarital sex! Hmm, no - forget the last one...


*"What sort of meat is that? I've never seen anything like it before!"
**"I'd rather not try it,ever. But thank you for offering."

Windswept

It's really, really windy here today but it didn't bother me as such apart from the fact that I get annoyed when I walk and the wind makes my jeans cling on to my legs. It's a silly thing to get annoyed over but I have skinny ankles and when the jeans cling on to them it makes my bum look even bigger than it already is. I think so anyway.

I am on a "book diet" - am supposedly on a normal diet as well - which means that I've told myself that I don't need to buy a brand new book as often as I used to (I read fast) as #1 they're fairly expensive. #2 they don't last very long with me and 3# books at libraries are free of charge.

The thing is, however, I don't like borrowing books from libraries as I get quite upset if I really like a book and have to return it, so then I have to buy it anyway. So, there's this other option and it's not free but it's not as expensive as buying a new book: charity shops! I have found one that's great, buy one book get one free and they're seldom more expensive than £2 (heavenly!). + the money is for a good cause (Bluebell Wood - Children's Hospice) and if I don't want to keep the book I'll just return it and they can sell it again. And as some books are 50 pence, it's a bargain no matter what.

I wouldn't mind paying at the library either if it went to charity so this is an awesome solution and they do have some good books and a lot of them are new. although I quite like older books as some of them can't easily be found in bookstores without costing a fortune.

I have a bunch of books that'll be donated next week and I urge everyone who reads this blog to pick out a book or two (or more) and give it/them to a charity shop in your area. It's for a good cause and you have to admit that there's probably a couple of books on the shelf that you won't read again and you could probably use the space for a better book, perhaps one that you find at the charity shop?

Have a great day!

Heavy clouds over my head!

It's not as dramatic as it sounds. There are actually quite dark and heavy clouds on the sky today so I have to make sure I'm well equipped when going food shopping i.e. brolly.

I'm thinking baked potato with a filling of smoked salmon, crème fraiche and red onion for dinner tonight. It doesn't sound too bad, does it?

Continental Market

Every now and then there's a market in town - a continental market! They have food, lots of various proper food. French cheese, marinated olives, sun-dried tomatoes etc etc. Boyfriend and I had a stroll through and grabbed a lunch consisting of A lovely French potato/veg/chicken mix and an even lovelier mushroom in a creamy garlic sauce - yummy! Then Boyfriend needed a haircut and got a really good one on Division Street. (The guys working there are quite something to look at.)

On our way back - through the market again - we bought some French cheese and a really nice climbing Jasmine from the Dutch guys. I bought my Orchids there last time they were here and the orchids are of awesome quality and I currently have 28 flowers on one of them!!!

I might have a stroll up tomorrow when Boyfriend is sorting out his music... I love shopping and I am an absolute suckers for markets!

I listen to the radio...

I am so happy I can listen to Swedish radio over the internet, it's just like being at home! There's nothing like Rix MorronZoo and after that I'm tuning into P3, the overall funniest channel and the fact that there are no commercials on P3 is greatly appreciated...

Dinnerparty

It was lovely last night. E had prepared fajitas and one of the sauces she had was absolutely fantastically hot - I have to ask her what it was. I also had a tad bit too much white wine to drink. It was great wine but it made me a bit snoozy so the latter part of the get together meant I was curled up on the sofa (still participating to the conversations) between Boyfriend and T.

E&S had been to Lanzarote as S's dad owns a villa -- I know -- and T&A had just got back from the Virgin Islands as T's sister and her boyfriend lives there, so I think you can guess how tanned and lovely they all looked. I've got a bit of a tan acquired at the Botanical Gardens- which is nice as well but perhaps not as nice as the Virgin Islands... I really would like to go and T&A said we ought to go together sometime - Yes pleeeease! I'd love to go on a holiday that isn't Sweden (I love Sweden but it's also nice to go on a proper holiday abroad -Sweden isn't abroad to me).

I think the rest of the day is to be spent in front of the telly and there might be a possibility that I can muster enough gung-ho to tackle my wardrobe - it's a mess.

Have a great day!

M&S and Dill

Dinnerparty tonight at the penthouse and I'm in charge of the starter. I steered my nose towards the famous M&S to get the ingredients. It's a lovely shop but they didn't have dill. British people don't seem to use dill as much as Swedes do. I find that strange. Dill is great!

It's a hard knock life

I've spent the day (as well as the day before) at the Botanical Garden as the weather's been absolutely fantastic. A blanket, a bottle of water and a book- that's all I've used today and dear Lord. I am tired! From doing nothing! It must be the sun.

Anyway, it's quite interesting lying there and there's nothing to suggest that there's a bustling big city on the other side of the walls. I've found my perfect spot where not a lot of people go to as it's in one of the corners of the garden. I share it with a couple of other people -who were there yesterday as well - and 2 squirrels.

They are grey squirrels (not red) and they're a bit too tame for it to be comfortable. They obviously think that there's a buffet of food laid out so they edge their way closer and closer until they're about 12" away. They seem nice, they don't look particular vicious but I think I remember my host-parents in USA saying that they can carry diseases. If that's only in North America, I don't know but I'm not taking any chances.

I just know that if there's a rabid squirrel and it happens to bite someone, it'll be me. Sod's Law says so. Weird things always happens to me so I've come to expect nothing and everything. I had this vision of me having my leg bitten and having to hobble away to the hospital - thankfully just around the corner - and there explaining that it was a squirrel and then having to endure the laughter and embarrassment while being treated, or not. Sod's Law also says that it'd be one of Boyfriends friends/colleagues to treat me. No chance of that being kept a secret....

There's no point dwelling about it as it didn't happen but I'm just saying that it wouldn't surprise me if it did happen.

Watch this space for a rabid, flee-infested squirrel/human!

Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

Professor: Are there any Catholics in the room? Who would like to enlighten us on Catholicism?
Girl: Well, you go to church and Communion or whatever. And you kneel down and the priest sticks it in.